…Perhaps we were only mildly entertained. Regardless, please enjoy! If you are looking for Kaylia's official Website please visit KayliaMetcalfeWriter


Dinner with Robin, Marie, and Daddy at a new Indian restaurant.

We hadn't actually had Indian food since moving to Fresno... tonight we remedies that. It was.. ok. not as good as I remember it being. Not sure if that is the fault of the place or my changing tastes. Either way, the company was good and despite the fact that I felt like a cow next to the other two ladies, it was a nice evening.

While in the restroom I overheard a mom dealing with her two kids, probably around age 3 and 5. Their chatter was adorable... to me. The mom seemed a bit at the end of her rope. Something to look forward to I guess! 


Piper looking super cool and fashion forward.

Cynthia and I had lunch today and she was so sweet and well behaved! Partly because seh slept most of the time :)

I wonder if I will be able to take you out places and feel as confident as Cynthia does.  I hope so.

What I Have Learned

So, I tried to do a web video blog thing… a vlog if you will, today but since I don’t have my computer (it is being fixed by Geek Squad, I hope) and Matthew’s computer lacks a working webcam, I had to to it with my camera and a tripod.

Which meant I have a 5 minute little vlog thing that mainly features my chin.

My chin, by the way, is not my favorite featue of myself.
So…..  here is roughly what I said in the vlog.

Things I have learned, about myself and the world, while being pregnant.

Matthew is a rock star in terms of helping me deal with stress, make me laugh, reminding me to breathe when I get upset, and generally being a great ally

Being afraid for the baby is way different than being afraid for myself. I knew this would be the case on an intellectual level, but the practicality of it was surprising. I feel really protective and this translates into my actions and my diet.

Yes, I am suffering through oatmeal and bananas for the sake of this little one. Who better be grateful….

You want what you can’t have. Sushi, lunch meat, brie, copious amounts of coffee and white wine…. I didn’t even really have them a lot ahead of time, but now that I have made the choice to not have them, I find I miss them terribly. And yes, I know, it is a choice. But it is a choice, and a sacrifice I am more than willing to make.

I have had way more chicken nuggets than I probably should. I will work on that.

Yes, I am a bit of a hypocrite. “None of that for me, I’m being healthy for my baby….. hey, let’s stop at McD’s and get some deep fried pink slime! YUM!”

My desire to be seen as big, pregnant, etc changes with the blink of an eye, First I flaunt the tummy. Then I get resentful when people say things like “you’re huge!” and try to tell me we are having twins or that our due date is way off. I just want to say: “Shut up! We have had 5 ultrasounds! My medical team isn’t comprised of idiots! And yes, I know the due date is an approximation, but your insistence that I am three months further along than I am is tiresome and annoying!’ For those of you who want to say nice things, you never know if I am in a flaunting mood or a snarky growly mood. Best bet: “You look great!” It works for everything.

I miss my mom, a lot. We aren’t estranged or anything, but we aren’t as close as I wish we were, physically or emotionally. I miss her. Communication goes two ways, I need to pick up my end a bit. Something to work on.

My best friends talk to me about the baby and also about other stuff! I love talking about the baby. But I NEED to talk about other stuff and to get passionate about other topics as well. My best friends understand this.

I want to nest. At least I sometimes I want to nest. A lot of the time I want to watch mindless TV because I know this is my last chance for a while.So really, i want to want to nest more than I actually do. I'm sure that will come in time.

So there you go. 

Also, apparently Matthew's computer will let me pull photos off my camera, but not videos. so, i guess it was okay that the video didn't work out. So, I guess i have also learned that I NEED my own computer back!!!!!!!

But here's a shot of me trying ....

Happy Day!


Since it is after Memorial Day... it is time to change the sheets to regular (from flannel) and to change the bed spread to a lighter one.

Yep, it is getting warmer and warmer! Summer is pretty much here and I am already starting to rely pretty heavily on the ceiling fans and the occasional use of the AC.

And I know it is just going to get hotter.

oh boy.


Daddy likes to go out and take photos.. and I like tagging along.

Sometimes I take photos too... and sometimes I take photos I really like. Like this one.

See that baby bump? That's you!

We hung out at a park for part of the day, I'm still a teeny bit wobbly from being sick, but doing  lots and lots better... and Daddy didn't get sick at all which was a relief.

Sadly, we didn't get to have a Memorial Day party or BBQ, but that's ok. It was a lot of fun just relaxing actually and enjoying the sunshine.


The May issue of Parenting had an article about raising an optimistic child.

In related news, your May book from mom and dad was purchased today... it is all about a giant squid who is super pleased with himself for being bigger than other creatures. "Hey turtles," he calls out, "I'm bigger than you!"

He is so pleased with himself that he doesn't see the whale that comes along and eats him.


Floating in the whale, he sees the turtles (and all the other creatures that he had been bragging to earlier). Not to be deterred, he readjusts his perspective and shouts, "I'm the biggest thing in the whale!"


I laughed so hard at the store that I had to sit down.

I can't wait to read this to you... I know just the funny voice to use!

Yep, you are either going to grow up a bit warped or super well adjusted. Maybe a bit of both.


So after that exciting game night... I got sick.

Really sick.

Violent sort of vomit and otherwise voiding sort of sick.

I spent the entire night being this level of horrible sick.... and trying not to freak out because of course throwing up like this does NOT keep one's pulse down to acceptable ranges.

Anyway, imagine my amusement when I read the above notice as part of my weekly update on the pregnancy.

It seems you can now feel movement... and boy howdy did you pick the right night to feel it! I wonder if you are going to grow up to love roller coasters and twisty roads... if so, I am going to blame it all on last night and today's epic bout of food poisoning or flu or whatever it is.


Game night!


Yeah, we do a lot of this...


This particular game night we played Taboo against Evan and Allison.  

Baby, just so you know, your mom is a Taboo Rockstar!

Your Dad isn't bad either... but your mom... yeah, all kinds of special skills going on over here.

This photo was candid, but I like to think of it as the moment when they realized I was unbeatable and admitted that I was Queen Supreme of Taboo! Or maybe we were just talking about something more serious. Either way, it was a great night. 


This is Izzy.

Or rather, a bad photo of me and Izzy.

Isabel is Ashley's boxer, super cute, super friendly, super energetic!

Little Richard will grow up with Izzy like yo will grow up with Olive.

And as much as I like visiting Izzy, I'm really really glad that Olive is as low key and laid back as she is.  I know I used to be a dog person... but those days are gone. Gone I tell you! I am so much a cat person these days, it isn't even funny.

You are going to grow up with cats! 

You're a hard habit to break.... or pick up.

I’m rather sore today. It started yesterday but has gotten worse over the past 24 hours… this ache in my right side that feels like a really badly pulled muscle. It hurts to breathe deeply, to move, to stand or sit or even lie down.Not sure if it is because i stretched too much or not enough. My working out habit hasn't been what it was a few weeks ago, what with the travel, the sleepiness, and oh yes, the trip to the ER.
 Anyway, this soreness or whatever, it varies between discomfort and pain… and I wonder if this is nature’s way, my body’s way, of telling me that I’m a wimp and that I should be even more afraid of the impending labor than I already am.
 In other news, my laptop which had developed a nasty habit of overheating after only being on for 20 minutes (serious over heating btw, ice packs were involved) has been fixed and is even now winging its way back to Best Buy. I have no idea how long the shipping will take, but I am glad to read that I might have it back within a few days.
My Maifan-San was sweet enough to let me use his computer, let me set up a profile etc, but it isn’t the same…. Oy, we are such creatures of habit aren’t we?
 Habits: good at times, bad at others. It has been a week and a half since I list bit my fingernails (speaking of habits that are bad and deserve to be broken). And it has been two days in a row in which I have blogged (speaking of habits I am trying to get back into).
  But the habit I most want to get back into, the habit that shouldn’t care about sore baby making muscles and shouldn’t be determined by which computer I have access to…..
  The novel.
Yes, still a work in progress.
  A little bit each day…. That should do the trick…. Right? Right?

And one last thing about habits... in case my title didn't make any sense.... (Yes, I'm a music nerd, accept it).

Gatsby and The Other blog

I will write more on this blog.... someday.

For right now, i am writing a lot over at my other blog Dear Baby.... which started out as letter to my "someday" baby and is now letters and photos of the day for this year all geared toward Ella aka Fishy.

I will try to get back into the swing of writing about general life, politis, etc over here, but feel free to check out that other blog.

note: I have photos and notes but I haven't proofed and posted  in a while. I am playing catch up. Give me a few days to get all caught up over there.

In the meantime..... enjoy this

This was one of my favorite books! I can't wait!


McDonald's with Aunt Allison, a few kids meals, and oh yes... the kids meal toy! See that pretty thing in her hair?

Much fun! 

It is these regular little things that make me so happy. 

Still here.

It has obviously been a while since I posted.

Life... you know.

Being pregnant has taken its toll on me. Not all of it physical. Sometimes I feel so lost within myself, so afraid. Other times I can hardly contain my excitement and optimism.  I know these feelings are normal, and I know that the minor discomforts will be worth it.

Sometimes it is just hard to remember that.

In other news, i have been busy with Gay Central Valley and all that entails.

And of course the reading, writing, tv watching, friend time etc tht i am trying to shove into these remaining months.....

but I am alive.
I am here.


The hospital.

Not fun/

It seems that you make my heart rate a bit too high for my own good. After an exhausting night in the ER and some very scary tests to rule out some very scary things, I am home, bruised and a bit paranoid, but doing okay.

I'm not sure what this will mean for us going forward except that I have to keep track of my pulse and try not to let it get too high.... which is proving difficult as it wants to spike at the drop of a hat, or a short walk to the store.

Fingers crossed that they can find a quick and easy fix!


I won't let Olive do her little pitter-pat thing on my tummy anymore... it rather hurts.

But I do let her cuddle with me. I am waiting for the day when she is all cuddled up and you kick her.  Hee!

Yeah, I'm evil.

I prefer to think of it as "making my own fun."

Also, I love my maternity clothes.. thank you to Ashley for the hand me downs!!!!!


There was lunar eclipse today.

Daddy cut a tiny hole in a 3 by 5 card so we could see the shadow of it. Pretty nifty eh? Your Daddy is a pretty awesome guy. I cannot wait for all the fun science project stuff you two are going to do together.

A few neighborhood kids wandered over to see what we were doing and Daddy showed them how to make their own little viewers. Watching him with them was... very neat. My heart was all big and I almost cried.

Must have been the hormones. 


Aunt Kristen graduated from Berkeley and therefore it was time to celebrate!

I am so proud of my first little sister. She is such a beautiful accomplished young lady. I can't wait for you to meet her.. and it makes me so glad that you will have her as a role model in your life.She is so smart and classy! 

Anyway, the party at Grandma and grandpa's house was a lot of fun. We took a lot of photos and ate a LOT of strawberries ipped in chocolate. well, ok, I ate a lot, other people were probably more polite. 

It was lovely to see a bunch of family friends... Uncle Phil and Uncle Eric were there, I hope you get to know them as you grow up too!

.... I don't even want to think about you graduating from college.... Or about paying for you to go to college.... I better get busy on that novel so I can make tons of money.... right.....


Here it is... at last!

The special "Daddy Gift" to you!

See, your daddy wanted to get you something extra special, a little "from Daddy" gift that you can have and love and enjoy from day one.

But what sort of stuffed animal would do? Trust me, there was an awful lot of thought that went ito this... he visited store after store looking for the "perfect" toy.

Finally he decided on the banana slug.

It is the mascot of Santa Cruz University where Daddy did his undergrad work... and it is rather odd... so, in word, Perfect!

We drove all the way to Santa Cruz to get it for you... and I haven't named it. That will be your job!


Another evening of Strings N Things. I am trying to make a bag, a little crochet bag... and I am not using a pattern or a guide or anything. Just my imagination and a bit of determination.

So, that's me, being very determined and a bit confused... but determined!

I hope you pick up this crochet skill a lot easier than I have!


Yay for new friends!

Sara is another mom here in town and we have gotten together a few times to go walking. Today we celebrated a nice long walk with a trip to Jamba Juice where her daughter played and was generally adorable.

I am glad that I am healthy enough to go for long fatigue inducing walks! Must keep this baby weight thing under control somehow, right? Right!


Today I spent part of the afternoon with Benji who then stayed for dinner. He is moving away tomorrow (this is the price you pay for making friends with college students) and I am excited about his future.

I first met Benji at FCC Pride a year ago. He was preforming in drag and I interviewed him afterwards for the GF blog. Since then I have gotten to see him on a few regular events.... USP and Fresno will be a slightly sadder place without him.

Someday you too might go to college. You might not, it really depends on what you want to do with your life career wise. I hope you don't feel pressured... and I hope that whatever you decide, we are able to help you acomplish your goals. 


I spent the day recovering from the weekend.

Every time I looked at my flowers, I got so so happy. I am so blessed with Daddy and with you.

And with a nice big screen TV to help me recover :)


Happy Mother's Day... to me!!!!

Daddy got me snack food and flowers. 

(I seem to type the word "snack" and "yummy" way too much on this blog... I must be pregnant.)

Getting home was... a hassle. I rode back with Rob and there was a bit of drama regarding getting stuck in Kerman and having to get rescued... but being home with Daddy was so worth it. 

Here's to the first of so many many Mother's Day celebrations!


Off to the big city (San Francisco) to celebrate Stacy's bachelor party!

On the train I crocheted a little pink bag for you. Yep. Just for you.

I didn't drink at the party (obviously) but I did have a good time meeting Stacy's other friends. I'm so happy for her and Patrick... I can't think of a couple I am more glad to be getting hitched.


Hand Me Downs!

They rock!

We got a crib and a changing table from Jennifer and her family. I'm so stoked! 

Now we have to get the mattress and the sheets and the pad, and the pad cover, and the mattress cover... and... wow. Yeah, my list grows every day.

But I am so happy to get some of the stuff for free. Not thrilled about having it all live in the living room, but Eric is still living here... although probably for less than a month.


My life is a bit ruled by the developments over at GCV right now. WE are having to change things up, make some tough decisions, reach out for more help.... oh my god, so much to do!

I feel like I eat, breath, and sleep GCV.... and yet I keep daydreaming about you. waht will you look like? What will you like? What will your first word be? what subjects will you enjoy in school?

... and then, back to the GCV drama.....


I had a pretty bad day emotionally today.

Thankfully, Aunt Robin was there with ice cream and chocolate and a sympathetic ear.

I'm so lucky to have such good friends! I hope you have lots of dependable friends as well.... people you can rely on and who make you laugh.


Olive loves looking outside.

So do I.

Last summer, there were flowers there was greenery.... the backyard was very nice.

This year? Not so much. I am not a green thumb... I'm not a big outside sort of person.... and lately I have been so tired and sick that I haven't had teh energy to do much in the way of weeding.

So, no nice backyard this year.

But... a baby!


Tonight Daddy gave a talk (lesson) at Fresno sTate University. He talked about reserach models for understanding indigenous peoples in Southern California.

He did a great job... his speech was funny and informative. The audience really liked it and I was super super proud of him.

I hope you get your Daddy's brains.

And his eyes.

And his sinuses.

But... you can get my outgoing personality and my legs and maybe my love of milk!



So today the President of our non-profit resigned.

Which means a lot of extra work for everyone else and a period of transition.

So... yikes.

But, in other news, either it was because I was really really upset during the meeting.... OR... I felt you move today!

So... I am really nervous about the future of GCV, but I am really excited about you and your moving!


Another day with Aunt Robin, today we went yard sale shopping!

I got a new entertainment center (surprise daddy!) as well as some baby stuff and blocks...

We had lunch at Lolicup which was quite interesting, I didn't really like my watermelon drink but the fried food was very good.

Yes, I am now craving fried... everything.


I refuse to give in, I want to be a healthy pregnant lady!


Tonight Aunt Robin and I went to a party with our friend Julie who is moving away tomorrow. 

We had yummy snacks and Super Super YUMMY chocolate. 

(Aunt Robin had some beer from all over the world.... but I abstained.)

It was a fun party and it made me think. Your dad and I both left home at one point or another for parts unknown. I'm sure you will too.... and for some reason that makes me both happy and alsoa bit sad.


Mmmm free snack food while looking at art with Uncle Eric.

He did some shopping, I did some browsing. Sometimes living near(ish)to the Tower district is pretty nifty.

I'm not sure if we will still live here when you are older, but if we do, I think it will be fun to take you to art shows in the Tower.


Sometimes it is so cool to live in the future.

Face to face video chat was always something VERY futuristic when I was kid... yet today, it is a common thing which means I can chat with Uncle Mark and share the good news that we now know you are a girl.

He was pretty excited just like us.

I'm excited for you to learn about technology... and I am excited to see what sort of technology becomes commonplace during your lifetime. 


Hellooooo ELLA!!!!

Ella Marie Metcalfe-Armstrong!

Our due date didn't change... and now we know you are going to be a girl! I'm SO excited!

Having the ultrasound done was not fun, at all. I had to go to the bathroom SO SO bad! But it was okay, it was good practice of dealing with discomfort for a greater good, right? Right.

Daddy thought he saw "something" that would have made you a boy... but it turns out it was the umbilical cord. You are all girl baby, and not shy at all!

Hello Ella Marie, my daughter!