…Perhaps we were only mildly entertained. Regardless, please enjoy! If you are looking for Kaylia's official Website please visit KayliaMetcalfeWriter


I was on the phone with my grandmother yesterday trying to ignore the 100 degree heat when she asked me what my plans were for the evening.

“Well I have to go to the store; I’m cooking dinner tonight.”

There was a pause.

“You? You’re cooking dinner?”



“Yeah, “nervous chuckle, “I do know how to cook.”

“She sounds doubtful, “Yes yes of course, its just….”

I wait, slightly annoyed.

“… its just… Well, why are you cooking dinner.”

I assure her I haven’t lost a bet. “Its just something I want to do. Matthew is coming over for dinner and I thought I would cook.”

“Oh!” The pieces have fallen into place, “How nice! What are you making?”

I told her and the conversation moved on; sister’s college choices, the weather, price of milk, dangers of crossing the street. When I got off the phone I glanced over and caught the eye of a matronly woman in a yellow tracksuit who smiled at me.

“Making dinner for your boyfriend?”

“Yeah, well hopefully.” I decided not to give this stranger the whole run down of how he isn’t actually my boyfriend, how we aren’t actually using labels to define our relationship, how that is at once liberating and frustrating. “If this train ever starts moving again and I can get to the store.”

“Be careful,” she admonished me patting her stomach, “I cooked for my man once…and that’s how I got this.”

I couldn’t tell if she was plump or pregnant so I just smiled and ring the “STOP REQUEST” bell.

Believe It, Or Not.

Vanilla Chia CoffeMate creamer mixed with my Starbucks Breakfast Blend coffee…

… makes me all sorts of happy.

And highly caffeinated.

The fact that Atheists still continue to get the shaft based solely on their (lack of ) religious beliefs ….

….makes me all sorts of bitter.

And highly link crazy.

Think we have separation of church and state? Think that we are en enlightened society that values people as people regardless of creed? Think again.


and Here

I am not an atheist. I am not (even) agnostic. But I am also highly uncomfortable with a group being treated like this out of misguided narcissism.

Back In The Saddle

My computer died. It was a loud death full of scary alarm sounds and odd vibrations… It wasn’t an out of nowhere type of death; I had a vague idea that it was coming. … but it was a somewhat unexpected death and it left me computer-less for what felt like forever.

I used my wonderful iphone to check my email, kept up on a bit of myspace and facebook fun…. But the lack of Microsoft Word bugged me. A little. Then… a lot. I can’t really type too much at work and for a while I didn’t really think the lack of being able to write would really affect me… after all I have gone for days and even weeks without writing… but the difference was always that it was by choice or at least design. I wasn’t writing because I was busy, or because I was too angry, or because I was turning things over in my head…. I was always choosing not to write while recently it has been more of a matter of not being able to. Choice; it makes all the difference.

And I so I wrote in notebooks… which isn’t super unique, if you know me at all you know I carry them around with me like some sort of security blanket of college ruled lines. But it wasn’t the same. I need the click clack of the keyboard. I need the warmth of the processor. I need the fan hum that lets me know that I am working with a machine. I need the great white space that is being slowly eaten by the strings of printed letters and then words.

To be honest… My penmanship sucks and I need to know that I will be able to read what I have written later when the passion has left me and my mind has cleared.

So, thankfully I have my new lap top up and running now… and I am trying to get used to it… the quirks, the lack of a mouse, the colors, the damn Vista… Its going to take a while. I lost all of my itunes playlists and podcasts, none of my documents or pictures are where they should be, I need to reset up all my bookmarks, I am trying to decide if I will be installing Wow or just letting it go, I am trying to figure out what can and what can’t be on the hard drive and what should stay on the external portable and yet “will live at home’ hard drive”…

But I have never been one to shy away from an organizational nightmare…. And I feel confident that in the coming weeks I will not lack for something productive to do.

Plus I can write now… and hopefully now that it is once again an option to pour out my thoughts and dreams and random short story type things my hands and heart will find a way.

Who Sings The Songs of Sweetness?

When I was a young girl my cousin Jennifer and I used to sing in church. Not the typical everyone is singing in church type of signing… but the two little girls in matching outfits up on the stage with microphones bigger than they were belting out “He’s Still Working On Me” and laying the foundation for years of needed therapy.

I don’t remember how it got started. I was always a natural ham.. and Jennifer was always my shadow. (Despite the fact that she was older, I was still the bossy one leading us into scrapes, setting the plots of mayhem, and generally getting my own way… and blaming her for the mess. I would like to think I have grown as a person, but then… .)

Anyway, we sang in church and mostly we sang together because we made a pretty good team. We had the right mix of whatever it takes to make a congregation of nazareens say a collective “awwww”

The story of my last performance and the ill-fated “Amazing Grace” can be told some other time… what I wanted to rant just a bit about today was This

Yes, as you probably heard the cute little girl who sang the pretty little song in the opening ceremony of the Olympics turned out to be just the cute little girl lyp syncing while her not so cute (buck toothed) counterpart did the actual vocalization.

Lame! Horrible!

And yet… not surprising. This isn’t the first time that we have seen looks trump talent (-ahem- most of prime time tv- ahem-) and it isn’t even the first time with this type of thing musically (Martha Wash and “Everybody Dance Now” should spring instantly to mind.

But there is another aspect that really bugs me… the idea of proper credit. Now Martha Wash sued and won and we all know the story… and thanks to the widespread of the ‘net everyone will soon know the difference between the two little Chinese girls… but the fact is that credit was still corporately given to an undeserving party… who obviously didn’t see anything wrong with that.

Well ok, the world is a messed up unequal place full of pretty people, talented people, and weird combinations of the two.

One last thing…

They wanted the world to see a cute Chinese girl while hearing the good vocal styling’s of someone else…. And the thing that really gets me is that the whole fiasco could have been avoided. Let the “not as” cute one sing and let the cuter one run around with a balloon or a puppy of something… why not? It worked in multiple Nazarene churches in northern California in the early 80s. There was the loud slightly talented one… and the adorable counterpart, although Jennifer never got to hold a puppy.
The email was sweet… “Miss reading your stuff… when will you write again? Hope everything is going ok.”

(There was another one a little less nice… calling me what amounts to a tease and doubting my ability to create on a regular basis.)

But as some of you actually know, I have been busy with some personal crap lately and as most of you don’t know, it has taken its toll on both my sleep and my writing.

So… yes, I am fine. I am still breathing, still trucking along… still looking for meaning and still finding time to dance. My naturally optimistic buoyancy keeps my head above water even while my legs are getting unbelievably tired and all I really want is some sort of solid ground.

The following is a list of blog titles for blogs I have written mostly in my head but then when it came to the actual writing them in the computer, they suddenly seemed hollow, dumb, or at the very least totally uninteresting:

But What Did You Expect? (This one had pictures of cake… and dealt with the idea of false expectations)
I Was There, I Can Prove It (Pictures and a snarky commentary against scrapbookers that comes from a slightly jealous place)
Happy Birthday To Everyone (Celebrations and the importance of marking time with rituals)
He was the Perfect Bad Guy… Until He Wasn’t (Danger of type casting people in real life.)
WTF? (The loss of intellectual universal common knowledge and how it scares the holy rice krispies out of me)
Write It Down (Type versus print versus cursive… do we need cursive anymore?)

There have also been a whole slew of Short Stories that I have started and then stopped because my handy friend the Fiction Buffer has taken a holiday and every damn thing I have been writing has become way to personal and autobiographical… even when it isn’t. This is the danger of critique. I am now seeing myself in all my characters and that not only freaks me out a tad but makes me want to crawl in a hole and never write again.

So, there you have it.

"Its Friday, I'm in Blog!"

And for today’s dose of time waste…. (although I took the time signatures off)

Be prepared, next week I will be back to not doing this… three days of the senseless crap of my day is probably enough to last y’all quite a while.

I woke up early today for a silly reason. I don’t know what to wear. Its Friday… and normally on Friday’s I like to dress casual… and push the corporate envelope juuuust a tad. (Thankfully my boss doesn’t seem to care what I wear and I think sometimes even gets a kick out of the outfits I put together. Say what you will, but she was all for the cop costume.) Anyway, its Friday… but after work I am going to see Naomi who I haven’t seen in a long time and part of me wants to look nice, or at least look decent, or at least look good. Shallow I know, but…. No wait. It really is… it is shallow. I just talked myself out of it.

Dressed in jeans and a black tee I am carrying a box of doughnuts on the train. In spite of the older man sitting nearby who keeps licking his lips and grinning at me, I feel pretty good both with my clothing choice and the happiness these pieces of fried dough will hopefully bring to my coworkers.

There is some sort of universal law that says that the second you get up from your desk someone will call you… or that the day your boss is on vacation the computer system decides to go haywire and not do what it is supposed to do. When Equity Edge goes down… it affects Julie with her IESPP, Jaime with her Terms, Debbie with her payroll, and me with my addresses. In other words, we need it!

Still dealing with computer issues… Just read a little tidbit of happy company PR. Our LA office helped 25 LA inner city kids see the ocean for the first time. Which is very cool. Its also kind of a sad thing that people can live so close to the ocean and not get to see it. I am so glad that I get to see it on a regular basis. The thought of moving far away from it…-shudder-

Wal-Mart is warning its employees that a Democratic win in November will be bad for them… because honestly it might be bad for Wal-Mart if the new administration makes it easier for employees to unionize which is likely. So… the employer (Wal-Mart) is trying to scare its employees into voting a certain way because it would be better for the employer, not better for the employees! What a load of BS.

I realized I have been working almost 10 hour days all week to make up for Monday’s sickness. One of the gals asked me if I would want to have this sort of schedule full time… and where as a week ago I would have said “hell yes!”… today I paused. Because, honestly, I get home totally beat after doing this for 10 hours. So, maybe. Not like its an option even, but sort of fun to think about.

I was reminded recently that it is CA law to take a full 30 minute lunch. Then, they went and changed the law… but since it is in danger of being changed back, I am not pressing the issue. But, oh how I want to!

Just had one of “those” moments. You catch the eye of someone and then there is a smile (maybe a slight blush) and then a quick look away… followed by a look back. “… and I could tell the druids, this then is the true dance of our natures….” The funny thing is that the last time this happened to me I pointed the guy out to my companions only to later watch as he got into an altercation with other guys… rumors spread through the crowd that there had been some violence against a woman perpetrated by.. well you guess it… my “Moment Man” which just goes to show that I sure know how to pick ‘em. So this time, I just smile to myself and walked away.

Doughnuts are filling… after eating a few I didn’t feel the need for any other food today. Coffee, yes, Food, not so much.

$14 million for baby pictures? Has the world gone mad? Won’t these highly paid for pics be all over the internet in a matter of moments from the publishing time? Lame.

Oooo sugar crash… suddenly I am starving. Time for emergency granola bar!... and then a bowl of pasta….

Ahhh, he’s married. Well that answers that. Thank goodness.

Yes I saw the movie Secretary. Yes I liked it. Yes, I own it. And you know what else? I’m not ashamed.

I should put together a list of “To better understand me, see./read/watch/listen this” But not just me… everyone should have this list. It would make dating vastly more interesting. If there was a limit.. say 5 books, 5 songs, 5 pieces of art, and 5 movies… that would make it harder, but ultimately more rewarding.

The afternoon passed quickly… that’s what happens when the computers finally start working and then we all chip in to help Julie get her stuff done so she can go on vacation for two weeks. I would be jealous but then I think about my own upcoming adventure and suddenly I am filled with nothing but happiness.

Instead of getting on a bus and heading to Santa Cruz to listen to John Wait sing “Missing You” I am… not. Grrr.

Of course that little blurb up there regarding the “moment” made me think of Steve. Steve who needs a story all his own… the classic “perfect storybook meeting” straight out of a romantic comedy script… the realization that he was more the classic “bad boy” than the classic “romantic hero.”… the cliché drunken fights and the clash of two worlds… the music, the well the “other stuff”… and the eventual “crash and burn” moment. That’s a lot of “”s eh? Well, give me a bottle of white wine and I’ll tell you all about it. In glaring rum laced detail.

Saw a very skinny Hoppy cat.. a very sleek and big Pip cat… and really really had to fight the urge to come home and beg Jessica for a cat of my very own. Settled instead with going to the mall and buying a big painting! Its gorgeous! Now I have my first piece of actual art to hang over my actual adult bed! Yay me!

Overheard in a comic book shop where I was trying (yet again) to get a hold of a card game called Fluxx… a guy asking for a copy of the latest “Kiss”… and when told that there wasn’t one he asked instead for a copy of “Dominatrix.” Which one?” asked the clerk, “The latest one, the best one, the one, and the only one, where she is topless!” was the enthusiastic reply. Now, you might think that he must have been one of those classic comic book nerd guys… all skinny, and teen aged… but no. He was my dad’s age with a beer gut and glasses. Which just goes to show that at any age, some guys (and to be fair some gals) are just always going to want to see boobs. (And really, who can blame them eh Dood?)

Had a nice long talk about goals with Jarrod…. We both have our “by the end of summer” goals… and even though they are both important and such, I think he will have better luck with his because he has a stronger motivation. Motivation: its what makes goals become reality. Slap that on a bumper sticker so I can walk by and mock it why don’t you!

Tomorrow: no more insanely frivolous blogging… a trip to SF with Jessica and then an evening spent doing whatever I feel like. Because I am a adult damnit and I can do that.