…Perhaps we were only mildly entertained. Regardless, please enjoy! If you are looking for Kaylia's official Website please visit KayliaMetcalfeWriter


And since yesterday was so much fun… lets do it again today!

I woke up this morning in all one instant. No gentle rising to wakefulness for me. Its always a little jarring to be pulled form sleep by your alarm clock. And if you alarm clock is like mine, all strange bubbly noises, it can be a downright unsettling experience.

Called the Apple support regarding my computer, because updating the drivers didn’t work this time like it did last time…. First off they had no record of my telephone number (!!!) and then he told me that he would email me some helpful articles. He also insisted on calling me “Missy” a term of endearment (?) that only Thomas has ever used on me.

There is a certain level of compassion and patience needed to deal with mass stupidity/impatience… either from the general public, or in my case, the general L—employee. I feel my reserve of such attributes slowly slipping away and I don’t think it has as much to do with my general lack of compassion but more with my hatred of NOT being able to actually help them… the insistence from my manager for me to continue spouting the party line, the blatant lie, is nauseating.

I was going to be all good and eat yogurt and granola for breakfast… after all I did try to take a somewhat attractive picture last night and was dismayed at the size of my hips/tummy/ass but the blueberry muffin ended up being too much temptation to ignore. Fail! Oh well, there is always lunch… I brought left over rice pilaf with apricot flavor… but there is going to be a festive peach and chicken salad thing in the cafĂ©’ today… oh choices…


Heard that John Edwards might be Obama’s running mate. That would be a pretty decent ticket. Also heard McCain had s “spot” removed from his face… its not cancerous, but what if it was.. what if he had to drop out, how would that affect the race? Would they pick the 2nd best Republican Primary candidate or would the Republicans get to have a whole other Primary election? Has this ever happened? Heh, “Obama” isn’t in the Microsoft Word dictionary yet either.

Back in the cold cold room… for hours of sitting on my ass and thumbing through files.

Song line … “I’m not crazy, cuz’ I take the right pills, every day…” and this got me thinking about what keeps us from being crazy or sad or angry or whatnot. I think its different for everyone… My “right pills” actually come to me or are accessible within minutes of me getting out of bed and would include things like hearing the birds, being independent, seeing pictures of my friends and loved ones, knowing I have plans… What is it for you? What are the things that help you get out of bed, keep going, keep you from going crazy?

Do you think the shoes in Elvis’ “Blue Suede Shoes” are symbols of something… or is the song really about how the most important thing to this singing dancing man are a pair of high fashion shoes? Was Elvis metro? Were shoes a bigger deal back then? Did other straight men have love affairs with shoes?

After working in the freezer for the past few hours I couldn’t face my cold home brought lunch… and ended up with yummy chicken soup and –gulp- a cookie. Now there is guilt and the general desire to wrap myself in frumpy clothes and avoid the public.

So, I sing along with music… sometimes, like say on the train, I try to just lip sync along, but other times, say sitting on the floor in the store room surrounded by boxes, I actually sing along. Why do people sing along? It isn’t an attempt to “do” the song better than the artist… I mean, there is not way I can match Le Anne on “Blue” but I still enjoy it. I wonder if it says anything about people’s perceptions of self, or how they fit into the world whether or not they sing along… and where. (Do famous singers sing along with the radio?) Do you mind when I sing along in the car?

Ok, another odd conversation with that guy at work… suddenly not sure if he is interested in me, someone else in the department, just being friendly, … what…. Were this not a work environment I would just ask point blank. But, better not do that here.

The 13 box project from the Artic is done. Well, at least the artic part.

You know, I end a lot of emails “Thank you, have a great day!” but really… I don’t give a fig if these people have a great day, a good day, or even just a mediocre day. Yes, I want them to have a day… no wishes for death… and I don’t want them to have a horrible day… who would wish that on someone? But as long as they have a decent day, well, I can live with that. ‘Thank you, have a totally adequate day… keep breathing!”

I have a lot of books, in fact I have a bookcase that is quietly threatening great bodily harm to anyone in my dinning room because of all the books. There are also stacks of books all over the apartment. So… maybe its time to sell a few back to the good people of Recycle (small downtown Campbell used bookstore) or Logos (big used book and music store in Santa Cruz ). Sure! Why not! Either store credit or cash would be great! What this means though is I have to go through them and decide on which of my friends, err I mean books, to get rid of. Also, have to get myself and the books over to either Campbell or Santa Cruz during “book buying hours”. Should be fun. Might not make it this weekend… but hopefully soon.

So there was a new story about a horribly fat cat… 44 pounds.. 44 POUND CAT! It was lost and it seems that the shelter where it was housed is receiving hundreds of calls an petitions for prospective owners. Everyone wants the fat cat… who wants the normal ones? Do we have to be famous (or freakish) to be wanted? I guess it helps.

I wasn’t wearing my headphones today on my way home. I wasn’t talking on the phone. I felt so drained by the final hour of work that I just… moved along on auto pilot staring blankly into space. As I got off the train and started to head home, I noticed these two guys walking ahead of me… and walking slowly so that if I wanted a chance at making what is possibly the longest light in the greater San Jose area I was going to have to squeeze past them. The one on the left was shrot, the one on the right was tall. They were both terribly high on something and having the following conversation; Short dude: “…/mumble/…hell …. Don’t make it… and then…” Tall Dude: “D----A—MMMMMNNNN” This exchange was then repeted amid high pitched giggles. Again, Short Dude: “… /mumble/… what it… and have… not all…” and Tall Dude: “D---A---MMMMMNNNN!” More giggles. I managed to squeeze myself past them, avoid getting trampled by them at the light, and we parted ways. The thing is this… I am wearing baggy jeans, flats and a sweatshirt. I had spent a good part of the day feeling slothlike and frumpy. Yet in this one moment I was suddenly really really happy to be dressed “down.” Had I been in a skirt, had I been in business attire, had my hair been down, or done, (or, lets be honest, even combed), had I been in my heels, or carrying a business purse, or wearing something low cut…. I am sure that there would have been a reaction from these guys. And I would have felt uncomfortable. But as it is I am every bit the picture of a slightly disgruntled employee who worked more than 10 hours today and seriously has nothing besides a can of whipped cream and guilt ridden crunches to look forward to tonight. Hooray for being unnoticed due to frumpy appropriateness!

Sometimes I worry… about dumb things, about big things, things I have no control over… and I do worry less than I used to, but sometimes I still worry. I think sometimes worrying is how you show you care. I used to worry about Don and his bike, about Chris and his hunting, about Jayson and his bike, about my dad in his plane… and this week I have been vaguely worried about Matthew out in the field. I know he is a professional, I know that he has assembled a team of other professionals… they “do this” for a living. But I also have heard the stories of cattle stampedes, of almost falling off of high cliffs, of being attacked by bees…. So I worry. Not a lot. Not excessively. But, a bit.

Notes from my editor on “Goals”… I think I messed up on the ending because she sort of seemed to have missed the point, I think. Will ask when we get on the phone… but am already contemplating some rather big changes in the structure to make the point more assessable. Reading it with all the careful blue marks gives me a vague feeling of pride… not in what I wrote, but that I wrote something, and am seeking to improve it. This is still pretty new. No longer do I simply let my works atrophy in some unnamed word folder on my computer or in chicken scratched enthusiasm in a notebook that has long ago fallen apart and been thrown away. Now, I tell myself, I write with a purpose… and seeking critique seems like a very adult and proper thing to be doing.

I go downstairs and complain that it doesn’t feel like Thursday because I am not packing. Jessica brags about her luck with shopping for new clothes. I tell her about my vow to eat more healthy and thus also be able someday to buy new/nice clothes. Its hard to eat healthy though… at work today we had a half hour discussion about how wonderful doughnuts are. I can’t remember the last time I ate a doughnut. Jessica’s eyes get a bit misty, she talks about the joy of Krispy Kremes… and when I inform her that I a) can’t remember the last doughnut I had and b) am not totally sure I have ever eaten at a KK… she springs into action. Two minutes later we are on the road headed to Union City!

Mmmm doughnuts….. Despite getting lost and being lied to by the magic Google map… we made it.

So I crave… something… something physical… but not really something purely sexual which is odd because in the past I think this ache would have been filled by the physical. Should it just be the need of a booty call, well that is actually easy to arrange. Not to sound boastful (because its not as much a boast as simply a fact) I think I could reel off a list of guys who would be more than happy to swing on over for a booty call. Let me think.. yes, 5. Ok, wow… I wonder how accurate that is… I mean a few of them I am pretty solid on, the offer having been extended rather recently. New thought… I wonder how many of them would have me on their list. I wonder on who else’s list I might be on… as in, who out there thinks I would come over and be a “beck and call” girl for an afternoon or evening. Oh, and even different list… the list of people I would be up for sharing the classic booty call experience with. But see that gets me back to the original thing… in that I don’t want another booty call… another one night stand… another fleeting moment or passion. What I want is a deeper level of connection. Not overly original, I know. But there you have it. With that, I head off to bed.
Welcome to a twitter/blog/diary/random thought inspired view of my day. (yesterday)

This was just an email to one person (lucky him) but he responded by telling me that the

"stream of sconsciousness during the day" email has a strange, interesting flow

.. and then went as far as to suggest that I use it in my blog.

Well, that’s just silly I thought. Who wants to read this stuff?

But… then… I am a glutton for self exposure (of some types) and shared it with another friend who responded with

Reading about the random moments in your life is fun, and makes me not hate my life quite so much…

Not exactly sure how to take that but sure, thank you.

So… here is Wednesday July 30th…

The fact that my itunes wouldn’t sync my podcasts last night is all sorts of annoying. I want to hear the news! I can't remember how exactly Jarrod fixed it last time, so going to let him show me again hopefully tonight.

Thinking about weekend plans because the week is already in process. How did I go from being all booked this week to having this big empty space on my calendar? Oh right… other people have other social lives besides me. (Good Luck Alex!) Perhaps I will take Thursday’s empty night and be productive. I might just write something!

I had the strangest dream last night, it had flirting, guardian angels, Matthew being a smart ass regarding quantum physics, me being a kick ass secret agent, people from tv being all parental, a swimming pool on stairs, and bees. Trust me, it wouldn’t make any more sense if I explained it.

I am sitting on my train and the doors keep opening, and closing, and opening, and closing... It's been 5 mins. People are starting to notice.

Oh, for luggage to Portland , I was going to check one suitcase, a rolling one, and have a carry on with my purse. So I think I will be fine despite the new baggage rules that Expedia sent to Matthew who then was kind enough to pass on to me. I am hoping to be really resourceful in regards to packing in September. It’s a goal. Don’t mock.

People who email me stupid things deserve a special place in the Hell I don’t believe in.

Been reading Dave’s blogs… wow. He is so talented and reading about Shiva is so bittersweet. Makes me miss Peggy and Pip and worry about Hoppy.

Its quiet here today without Susie… in fact its been a bonding experience as we all… well, yeah.

We had breakfast early today… so now I am hungry for lunch early… but I don’t want to eat too early because I am staying late tonight. Aren’t you glad you are still reading?

Heh, just read an article about people getting injured while waling and texting. That is so me, I have all these random bumps and bruises… a big one on my upper thigh actually I can’t remember how I got. The one on the top of my head, now that one I remember. You know you are loved when someone tries to shut a car trunk lid on your head. Thank goodness for the Pacific Legacy protective gear.

When do you think words like ipod, texting, blog, etc will be included in the Microsoft Word lexicon?

How can the salad that looked so appetizing last night for dinner look so… blah… for lunch today? Is this an aspect of “old cow”? The “been there, done that” attitude. In some way, don’t we all get tired of things eventually… is there ever anything/food/person that we wouldn’t get tired of?

So Saturday it looks like Jessica and I are going to SF… which is good because I need a new purse/bag. Maybe we will have lunch at Hooters, make the day truly special. Maybe we will meet up with someone while up there, perhaps it will just be a girl’s day… at this pint I am wary of making plans since things keep changing.

Something I am tired of… sequels that are sucky.

That older guy at my office… the one who has been flirting with me recently, just asked me out for lunch sometime next week. When I politely declined, he clarified that he meant my whole department… made me feel slightly foolish.

My dinner plans for tonight just got canceled. So… the best laid plans eh? I had all nights accounted for, now facing three in a row sans plans.

Time to go home… what excitement will the evening without plans hold for me? Stay Tuned!!!!!!

Apple support closed at 6… so… just spent some time trying to fix it myself. My drivers are all sorts of up to date.. and yet…

I now have Friday night plans.. to go say good bye to my first feline love as he is very sick and not long for this world. I know it will mean more to me than to him, but I don’t care. Also going to see the former in-laws for the first time since Thanksgiving 2006. A bit apprehensive shall we say.

Nip Tuck episodes are on Good bye any hope of being productive for the next few weeks.

Pictures taken with my ifonay are easy, fast, and best of all a snap to delete! What, you may ask, am I taking pictures of? Well, I could tell you… but I’m not going to.

Late night phone call… and then sleep. To sleep, perchance to dream… and to dream… perchance of happy things…


I was umm, working, earlier and came across this webpage complete with little video depicting how great it is to live in downtown San Jose.

The video does what it is supposed to do… make the area attractive. I could get belligerent and note that they don’t mention the homeless problem, the danger of random fighting, the not so good parts of downtown (about a block from the not bad parts of downtown) the horrible cost of living on a street with a public restroom that is for the most part ignored (the pavement works just as well a scruffy looking chap name Fred told me once), the fact that due to a sewage mis-design the smells of downtown living can sometimes be downright gross, the trouble with parking, the prevalence of zealot evangelists who curse, spit, and otherwise annoy anyone they can, the lackluster abilities of the police, …. or the myriad of other less attractive parts of downtown living….

.. but instead I will simply admit to a bit of pride at seeing places I go on a regular basis being used in this way.

Hey look! That’s my bench! Hey! I eat there! Hey.. I was at that parade! Omg… I have a picture of that SAME EXACT palm tree!... and so on.

Downtown San Jose, is like most places, a mix of good and bad… but for me it is mainly a place of good. Allow me to reflect upon this….

I like the fact that I don’t get lost here (anymore) and that I know where the best places to park are.

I dig the number of Starbucks/Coffe places

I mean, wow.

The availability of free music is pretty sweet. This photo is bad... but trust me, between the punk, the rock, the classical, the funk, the country, the pop... you have tons of options.

Just walking around it fun... There are the cool looking buildings, the weird people (who don't like having thier picture taken)...

... and the weird people who like having thier picture taken!

The LR is a wonderful invention BTW.

And yes, despite the freakish hail storm of ’05… the weather is pretty damn decent.

And of course… there is the Poop Statue.

I have had some pretty good times in downtown San Jose over the years. I have gotten lost, gone in circles, crashed parties, run amok in fancy hotels (multiple times), seen some wonderful shows, enjoyed some freakish art, spent too much at the farmer’s market, danced, played in the fountain, had many an awesome first date, and drank my body weight in forgetfulness. I have attended crafts festivals, jazz festivals, protest marches, and political rallies. I have met interesting and scary people, thrown a slushy ball, and hosted “power lunches” (complete with expensive company bought wine.)

All in all, no matter where I end up living in the future, Downtown San Jose will always hold a special place in my heart.

Did you see the Poop Statue?

Announcement time.


As you (gentle constant) readers have noticed –some of you not quietly- I haven’t been posting nearly as often recently.

Let me assure you that I have not, as some evil minded rumor makers might have decreed, eloped with a former lover, joined the British Foreign Legion, gone “underground, or given up writing.

I have been working on my novel.

Its true.


And while working on my novel I have also been doing some fun editing (with a bona fide editor!) of the work that has been posted here in hopes to get it ready for the eyes of a publisher.

I have also been having a large amount of computer problems that recently culminated with my CPU going on a field trip to the House of Lee in order to get fixed. Prayers, sacrifices to Venga Goddess of Technology, and positive thoughts as me and Besty (my CPU for those of you who don’t know) undergo this separation. Please keep us in your thoughts and help us deal until she makes a speedy recovery.

That being said… this blog will be undergoing a few changes in the coming days/weeks.

I started this blog as a way to get my writing “out there”, to hold myself accountable for creating something on a regular basis, and to get over my fear of sharing my work with other people. Those were good goals and for the most part the blog has accomplished them.

It is time to move on slightly, to new goals.

Since I will be devoting much of my time to the novel and much of my time to the fine tuning of already created and posted works, this blog will now be a place where I will practice writing for the sake of writing. I am thinking it will be a mix of diary/profound wisdom/snarky comments/and the occasional creative writing exercise.

You all are invited to continue dropping by and reading, sending me emails, etc. I will be writing here.. just with a slightly different thrust. (Yes Kyu, I said thrust, stop with the giggles already.)

That being said… I tag things for a reason, keep that in mind and enjoy!

And for those of you (newish types) who don’t really dig the fiction stuff, well, then feel free to keep coming back for the random glimpse into the wonderful world of Kay-ness.

Have a great Thursday everyone!

Santa Cruz! New Phone!

How was your weekend?

Mine was fan-freaking-tastic!

Partly because I got to see Eddie Money live in concert on the beach (for free) in Santa Cruz… SANTA CRUZ… indeed, we were, in fact, in SANTA CRUZ… and just in case we (the Santa Cruz audience of this concert) forgot for even a moment that we were, in fact, in Santa Cruz… Eddie managed to put the words “Santa Cruz” into each and ever one of his songs… in one song he managed seven “Santa Cruz” moments… because with all the sand, the boardwalk, and the fact that we all had arrived there independently and on our own volition, we Santa Cruz tourists and locals alike, might need to be reminded. Santa Cruz.

He also let his back up singer gal sing two songs.. which was a bit odd.

Anyway… On Saturday the long suffering and very patient Matthew stood in line with me for about an hour in Los Gatos so that I could then work one on one with two salespeople for another hour and finally emerge from the Apple store triumphant…

My new phone is a thing of beauty. I am loving the camera ability and the GPS was extremely fun and useful for when we got slightly lost in SF and when later we needed to find someplace to eat in Pacifica. yay for my new phone!

I have spent the rest of the weekend (with a small pause in order to watch Hellboy 2) playing with my new phone, taking pictures with my new phone, sending texsts on my new phone, adding contact information onto my new phone, and assigning pictures of people to their contact information on my new phone…..

Santa Cruz! New Phone!