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My Rededication

It is that awkward week between the holidays and the beginning of the new year.

If you are like me, the holidays mean a break from routine... we eat different (and usually more). We sleep different, in different places (and usually a bit less). We ignore things we would be up in arms about the other 11 months of the year (she said what? Meh) and we fixate on things that don't really matter (but does this bow match this wrapping paper better?)

And in the back of our heads as we help ourselves to more green bean casserole or yet another sugar cookie... as we settle in on the couch to watch a movie or we decide that we deserve a nap on our day off... there is that sinking little feeling just behind your right eye... a little gnome that is whispering, "better get it out of your system now.. the diet/exercise regime/whatever it is starts on the first..."

This year I am starting my New Years Resolutions or Renewals or Rededications or whatever you want to call them early. I figure, since my life was all wonky, why go backwards... just start anew, now!

I am optimistic that this approach will keep me on task a bit longer into the year because instead of spending the first two weeks of january starting new things and bemoaning the last two weeks of gluttony, I will start January with a few new habits already in place, if not totally routine yet.

On a related note, I have decided to pass up a paid nonfiction writing gig to focus more on my fiction writing. 

Happy New Year.

The Road Staked Out

I have decided to pass up a paid nonfiction writing gig to focus more on my fiction writing. 

Last year was a year of transition for me writing wise... I feel like I hit a wall and then didn't really know how to get around it. I struggled with sense of self, with expectations (both real and imagined, both understandable and downright nut-so), and I floundered. A lot.

I am ready to rededicate myself to writing. To the written word that is produced by me. In fiction.

I am giving myself permission to write crap. To write badly. To write stories in drafts that are silly, lame, go no where, and have no point. I am giving myself permission to start over as a fiction writer, to wipe the slate clean and let go of the few nonfiction vestiges I have been holding onto.

I am going to stop calling myself a free lace writer, an author. I am going to start calling myself a writer's apprentice. I am going to read good books written by good writers and then hone my craft. I am going to read books on writing written by writers I admire and let go of the critiques of those who's work I don't appreciate. I am not going to write book reveiws. I am not going to edit anyone elses work. I am not going to collaborate. I am going to be selfish with my free time. I am going to reattach myself to the keyboard.

I am going to write when I don't feel beset by the muse. I am going to write when I am unsure of where I am going. I am going to write for me and not think about what will happen when the writing part is over. I am going to wallow in the writing process. I am going to rediscover my fiction voice. I am going to ramble and vent and think and finally let some of the demons out of my head an back onto the page where they belong.

I want this year to be the year that I am, once again, proud of myself... maybe not proud of what I wrote exactly... but proud again that I bothered to write at all.

I am going to find myself again through the words that only I can pick and place on the page.

Consider yourself warned.

Growing up is hard to do.

I turn 34 today. 

I always like to think back x number of years... Birthdays make me introspective. 

10 years ago

20... At 14 I could never have imagine where life would take me. 

But here's the thing, I'm married (again). I am a mother to the world's most precious 2 year old. I have writing cred and some professional cred as well. There are a few circles where I am respected. 

But I'm still that awkward nail chewing klutzy day dreamer 14 year old inside. 

And this morning proved it. 

In a bout of misguided maturity, I decided this was the morning to learn how to blow dry my hair.

Instead of ending with a mane of delightfully fluffy beautiful magazine ready hair, the experiment ended with a few tears, the loss of some hair, a bit of smoke,  and the realization that while one should try to experience new things, the trial run should probably not be done in front of the all seeing toddler. 

The morning also included a run in between the large very heavy hamper and the said toddlers little face. Note to self: when moving a large hamper please make sure that there is no toddler or other dangerouse obstruction within a 10 feet radius of you, your flailing arms, or the heavy objects. 
Secondary note: the cat, who is a black little ninja of death, also counts as an obstruction. 

We survived the morning and are now enjoying our Panera breakfast. 

Let's hope the rest of the day (year) is less exciting. 

CA Article: Year in Review

Yep... I know I quit this writing gig... and... yet....

Here is my December article.

December Article: 2014 in Review LGBT-wise

I have an article up on Community Alliance

Here you go!

Whatever you celebrate this season, please do it with gumption and flair!