…Perhaps we were only mildly entertained. Regardless, please enjoy these Reviews, Responses, Works of Fiction, and Retellings brought to you by one who hopes to someday join the ranks of those who have written something worth reading.
(Kaylia Metcalfe)

Also, don't forget to visit Kaylia's Official Website where you can get information about Kaylia's upcoming events, and learn more about her free lance writing and other publications.

What I Have Learned

So, I tried to do a web video blog thing… a vlog if you will, today but since I don’t have my computer (it is being fixed by Geek Squad, I hope) and Matthew’s computer lacks a working webcam, I had to to it with my camera and a tripod.

Which meant I have a 5 minute little vlog thing that mainly features my chin.

My chin, by the way, is not my favorite featue of myself.
So…..  here is roughly what I said in the vlog.

Things I have learned, about myself and the world, while being pregnant.

Matthew is a rock star in terms of helping me deal with stress, make me laugh, reminding me to breathe when I get upset, and generally being a great ally

Being afraid for the baby is way different than being afraid for myself. I knew this would be the case on an intellectual level, but the practicality of it was surprising. I feel really protective and this translates into my actions and my diet.

Yes, I am suffering through oatmeal and bananas for the sake of this little one. Who better be grateful….

You want what you can’t have. Sushi, lunch meat, brie, copious amounts of coffee and white wine…. I didn’t even really have them a lot ahead of time, but now that I have made the choice to not have them, I find I miss them terribly. And yes, I know, it is a choice. But it is a choice, and a sacrifice I am more than willing to make.

I have had way more chicken nuggets than I probably should. I will work on that.

Yes, I am a bit of a hypocrite. “None of that for me, I’m being healthy for my baby….. hey, let’s stop at McD’s and get some deep fried pink slime! YUM!”

My desire to be seen as big, pregnant, etc changes with the blink of an eye, First I flaunt the tummy. Then I get resentful when people say things like “you’re huge!” and try to tell me we are having twins or that our due date is way off. I just want to say: “Shut up! We have had 5 ultrasounds! My medical team isn’t comprised of idiots! And yes, I know the due date is an approximation, but your insistence that I am three months further along than I am is tiresome and annoying!’ For those of you who want to say nice things, you never know if I am in a flaunting mood or a snarky growly mood. Best bet: “You look great!” It works for everything.

I miss my mom, a lot. We aren’t estranged or anything, but we aren’t as close as I wish we were, physically or emotionally. I miss her. Communication goes two ways, I need to pick up my end a bit. Something to work on.

My best friends talk to me about the baby and also about other stuff! I love talking about the baby. But I NEED to talk about other stuff and to get passionate about other topics as well. My best friends understand this.

I want to nest. At least I sometimes I want to nest. A lot of the time I want to watch mindless TV because I know this is my last chance for a while.So really, i want to want to nest more than I actually do. I'm sure that will come in time.

So there you go. 

Also, apparently Matthew's computer will let me pull photos off my camera, but not videos. so, i guess it was okay that the video didn't work out. So, I guess i have also learned that I NEED my own computer back!!!!!!!

But here's a shot of me trying ....

Happy Day!

You're a hard habit to break.... or pick up.

I’m rather sore today. It started yesterday but has gotten worse over the past 24 hours… this ache in my right side that feels like a really badly pulled muscle. It hurts to breathe deeply, to move, to stand or sit or even lie down.Not sure if it is because i stretched too much or not enough. My working out habit hasn't been what it was a few weeks ago, what with the travel, the sleepiness, and oh yes, the trip to the ER.
 Anyway, this soreness or whatever, it varies between discomfort and pain… and I wonder if this is nature’s way, my body’s way, of telling me that I’m a wimp and that I should be even more afraid of the impending labor than I already am.
 In other news, my laptop which had developed a nasty habit of overheating after only being on for 20 minutes (serious over heating btw, ice packs were involved) has been fixed and is even now winging its way back to Best Buy. I have no idea how long the shipping will take, but I am glad to read that I might have it back within a few days.
My Maifan-San was sweet enough to let me use his computer, let me set up a profile etc, but it isn’t the same…. Oy, we are such creatures of habit aren’t we?
 Habits: good at times, bad at others. It has been a week and a half since I list bit my fingernails (speaking of habits that are bad and deserve to be broken). And it has been two days in a row in which I have blogged (speaking of habits I am trying to get back into).
  But the habit I most want to get back into, the habit that shouldn’t care about sore baby making muscles and shouldn’t be determined by which computer I have access to…..
  The novel.
Yes, still a work in progress.
  A little bit each day…. That should do the trick…. Right? Right?

And one last thing about habits... in case my title didn't make any sense.... (Yes, I'm a music nerd, accept it).

Gatsby and The Other blog

I will write more on this blog.... someday.

For right now, i am writing a lot over at my other blog Dear Baby.... which started out as letter to my "someday" baby and is now letters and photos of the day for this year all geared toward Ella aka Fishy.

I will try to get back into the swing of writing about general life, politis, etc over here, but feel free to check out that other blog.

note: I have photos and notes but I haven't proofed and posted  in a while. I am playing catch up. Give me a few days to get all caught up over there.

In the meantime..... enjoy this

This was one of my favorite books! I can't wait!

Still here.

It has obviously been a while since I posted.

Life... you know.

Being pregnant has taken its toll on me. Not all of it physical. Sometimes I feel so lost within myself, so afraid. Other times I can hardly contain my excitement and optimism.  I know these feelings are normal, and I know that the minor discomforts will be worth it.

Sometimes it is just hard to remember that.

In other news, i have been busy with Gay Central Valley and all that entails.

And of course the reading, writing, tv watching, friend time etc tht i am trying to shove into these remaining months.....

but I am alive.
I am here.