One of the things labels do is attach or confirm stigma or stenotypes, which is why we are so careful when allowing ourselves to be labeled. I resisted the label of “bi” for years because I didn’t see myself as a fence sitter, a slut, or a shifty spy. I saw myself as able to fall in love (and sometimes lust) with a person despite their gender, not because of it. I was, and still am, attracted to people based on their personalities, their senses of humor, their ability to converse intelligently, etc. What does or doesn’t dangle between their legs is beside the point. When pressed, I usually would say that I was into people, not gender.
I became more comfortable being bi partly from exposure to more understanding and less judgmental people, and partly from a desire to change the stereotype.
And then I was introduced to the concept of Pansexual. “What does that mean?” I asked innocently enough.
“It means that I am attracted to people based on their personalities and not limited by genitals. I‘m gender blind.”
“In my day, we called that bisexual.”
“No, bisexuality is limited. You only love two genders. I have the capacity to love them all.”
Let me stop right here and add that due to the fact that I am typing this, you might not be getting the smugness and slight condescending tone of this particular pansexual person.
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