STICKY

PERHAPS WE LEARNED SOMETHING.....
…Perhaps we were only mildly entertained. Regardless, please enjoy these Reviews, Responses, Works of Fiction, and Retellings brought to you by one who hopes to someday join the ranks of those who have written something worth reading.
(Kaylia Metcalfe)


Also, don't forget to visit Kaylia's Official Website where you can get information about Kaylia's upcoming events, and learn more about her free lance writing and other publications.

The Jaws of Life... no, wait, reverse that.

Dislocating your jaw is a lot like dislocating other body parts…. Shoulders, knees, etc.

It hurts like hell.

That is until it gets popped back into place.

With the jaw, you can either hit yourself in the upper cheekbone (once on each side) or have a close personal friend insert his/her thumbs into your mouth and pull your jaw forward.

Either way, it hurts like hell.

Then you get to be sore for what feels like forever. In the case of your jaw, you don’t open your mouth more than a fraction of an inch, you hardly eat, and you forgo talking and smiling. Also, you are really glad your cough is almost gone and that the amount of phlegm in your throat is less than it was last week.

If you are an admin who has a recovering jaw, like myself, you get really good at pretend sign language, discover that your coworkers are very supportive, and make good use of your portable white board.

Also, you hurt like hell.

How do I know all this? Guess.

I’m doing fine now… still really sore, but healing. And yes, I think I have heard all the “big mouth” jokes already.

How, you might ask did it happen? Well it is one of those perfect storm kind of things….

Take one part jaw slightly unaligned since childhood.
Add in my parents’ (wise) decision to forgo braces and orthodontty in lieu of food and school.*
Stir in some facial trauma (getting hit), a life of biting my nails (weird jaw movement there), and presto….

TMJ Syndrome!

Which manifests with the clicking, the popping, the weird jaw movements and noises and sometimes pain… and can occasionally, when exacerbated by too many yawns, lead to…


… A Dislocated Jaw!

I popped it back in place but I was still in so much pain this morning that I let The Maifan San take me to the doctor’s office. The doctor’s advice: continue to get my nails done so that I won’t bite them, chew slowly, get enough sleep as to stave off unnecessary yawns, never EVER open my mouth as wide as possible, and take over-the-counter pain meds as needed.

Live a full and happy life.

Unless it happens again… in which case “slightly drastic actions” might have to be taken.

Can you have a slightly drastic action? Don’t those words cancel each other out?

-shrug-

So there you have it. More info about my mouth than you probably ever wanted to know.

Happy Wednesday!





*I don’t begrudge them this… in fact until the recent jaw pain debacle, which has made me wonder slightly, I was always proud of my non-cosmetically-altered-crocked-teeth.

4 comments:

Unknown Mami said...

Ouch! No more nail biting for you!

myrelish said...

On a more positive note - this is the stuff urban legends are made of... I can hear this story being repeated all over the world...

A friend of my sister's next door neighbours aunt bit her fingernails so much that she dislocated her jaw! OMG, she had to have her jaw wired to repair it so she had to drink pureed vegetables through a straw for almost a year! So that my child is why you shouldn't bite your nails.

Yep, I can almost hear the story being echoed around the playground now. I will be able to jump in and go "hey, I know her!"

myrelish said...

On a more positive note - this is the stuff urban legends are made of... I can hear this story being repeated all over the world...

A friend of my sister's next door neighbours aunt bit her fingernails so much that she dislocated her jaw! OMG, she had to have her jaw wired to repair it so she had to drink pureed vegetables through a straw for almost a year! So that my child is why you shouldn't bite your nails.

Yep, I can almost hear the story being echoed around the playground now. I will be able to jump in and go "hey, I know her!"

Anonymous said...

nice post. thanks.