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(Kaylia Metcalfe)


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Mathematical Proof That Blind Faith Sucks

Fun with Math….

I received a forward this morning. (Hee. You know where this is going right?)

The first part was pretty simple… it showed how numbers are really really cool… and how patterns are there for the finding… and how math can be interesting.

Also, that symmetry is inherently fascinating.


1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

You get the drift.

Ok, great.

Bu then…

Then there was this part….

We have all been in situations where someone wants you to GIVE OVER 100%... How about ACHIEVING 101%? What equals 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
And:
K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%
A-T-T-I-T-U- D-E 1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%

THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:
L-O-V-E-O-F- G-O-D 12+15+22+5+15+ 6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that: While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, It's the Love of God that will put you over the top!


Hmmm,

Mathematical certainty eh?

What if I try S-A-T-A-N-I-S-T?

19+1+20+1+14+9+19+20 = 103

So… worshiping Satan will allow you to give more than Love Of God.

Nifty.

Ok, but that’s silly right… I mean, what if you don’t believe in either God or Satan?

How about Blind Faith?

B-L-I-N-D-F-A-I-T-H

2+12+9+14+4+6+1+9+20+8 = 85




Yikes, Blind Faith won’t even get you a B+…


….


What’s a befuddled easily led email forwarding reader to do?

Oh right:

Skeptical Thought

S-K-E-P-T-I-C-A-L-T-H-O-U-G-H-T

19+11+5+16+20+9+3+1+12+20+8+15+21+7+8+20 = 195


Dude… Skeptical Thought will get you almost 200%! That’s… like almost double Love of God!

Just sayin’…..

13 comments:

Kimbo Jones said...

I must have missed that day in math class when letters were the same as numbers. I was there for the day when they *arbitrarily* represented numbers, but not for that day.

Wow. Email forward people are amusing.

Anthroslug said...

That is brilliant!

koe whitton-williams said...

Thanks Kay - I always do the math - today you're doing it for me. That's cool. By the way, 'cool' adds up to about 1 million in my book.

Unknown Mami said...

You're awesome! I enjoyed that.

Dianne said...

you're so wonderful!
I don't tell you that often enough

gustavolk-swagen said...

This rocks! It reminds me of Hofstadter's Gödel, Escher, Bach

ZoriN said...

However, sleep is the most powerful of all, let me demonstrate. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...

exarch said...

When did randomly added numbers become percentages?

Percentages of WHAT exactly?

This is math by someone who doesn't understand math ...

owheelj said...

Wait; 85% isn't even a b+? Wow I'm glad I didn't go to your school :P

Jay said...

Nice, Kaylia.
I might have to quote this...

Bridget said...

The original time I saw that math joke it said B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T instead of loveofgod which I believe should equal 110%

biguglyjim said...

A former friend of mine (a devout Christian) used similar logic. He said if you take the number representatives of the word computer and multiply by six (because six made mathemagical sense and not because there was any logical reasoning behind it) you get proof that technology is evil:

C O M P U T E R
3 + 15 + 13 + 16 + 21 + 20 + 5 + 18
= 111
* 6 = 666 OMG EVUL

thoughtcounts Z said...

When I got this forward, the bottom said (all following text is from the email):

Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5= 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G will take you:
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude, with mathematical certainty, that while Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.