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Swish!

Today’s topic:

Basketball.

Yes, you did read that right. I don’t usually write about sports… in fact the only time I think I have ever really written about any sort of sport was either to cheer on my beloved San Jose Sharks or to casually dismiss the merits of some other sport.

No, wait… this article (one of my first blogs actually) was about sports somewhat.

Today I want to continue that tradition and talk about why basketball, as a sport, is lame.

I could rant about the difference between Pro Sports and school sports (be they high school or college) and yes, there is a difference and yes that is an important aspect to any discussion regarding sports…that doesn’t really weigh in on today’s subject.

Basketball is lame.

Here is a sport where the sport has been taken out of the game almost completely. The whole point in basketball seems to be scoring… and scoring, and scoring again. It is almost like these players have never heard of defense.

Seriously… the scores are so high as to be laughable.

Regardless, I was content to just roll my eyes at basketball and go about my life…. But recent events have changed my mind.

You might have noticed that I like reading the news and occasionally passing on funny, interesting, odd stores to you, my good and faithful readers. In this quest over the last few weeks I have come across a few odd stories, strange stories, or just stories worthy of the groan and slightly bitter exclamation of “What is wrong with these people?”

And they all have to do with basketball.

First (well not first really but first on my list) we have a prime example of what I was talking about when I called basketball an exercise in vanity and a sorry excuse for anything team related. In other words, one of the high scoring basketball games where the sheer insanity of the scoring went above and beyond “excessive’ and into the realm of ‘case in point.’

How much athletisim is involved in this game? It looks like just jump and shoot and jump and shoot and run and jump and shoot…..

Anyway, the next basketball related annoyance comes to us in the guise of really bad sportsmanship or really bad coordination. Not really sure which one is worse. Here we have a toned top of his game well paid, well respected athlete who either can’t keep track of where his feet are… or purposely stomped on the face of another player. Yes. Stepped on his face.

I like violence in sports as much as any red blooded slightly deranged woman… I am a hockey fan after all and there is something primal and wonderful about watching the gloves come off and the then the shirts and then the pads… -Ahem- but this sort of “oops, my dad, was that your face?” stuff is just bad news all around.

And then we have this… which I think is a good combo of the above two types of lameness. What do you get when you cross a high scoring game with the potential for random cases of bad/weird taking responsibility for one’s actions?


This game where a team won with a score of 100+ to nothing (nothing!) and then felt bad about it.

Wait a sec… why did they feel bad? Was it unsportsmanlike to continue to dominate in a game that is set up for just such a score? (No, I think it is unsportsmanlike to step on someone’s face, but that’s just me.) Best part about this story? The coach was fired because it wasn’t the Christian thing to do.. to keep playing a game that they were winning.

Now don’t worry… I am not ranting about this as some form of Anti-Christian blurb. I have nothing against Christians… there are some mighty fine ones out there (a few even read this blog and have made themselves known in mostly positive ways). I just think that the school official’s definition of what is and isn’t Christian-like behavior leaves a bit to be desired.

The funny thing is that I used to play basketball when I was much younger/smaller. We are talking 4th, 5th, and 6th grade here… a time of glasses strapped to the head and bruises on the knees. Back in the long long ago: a time of a teeny tiny (now nonexistent) Lutheran school and its basketball team of a whooping 7 players. I was on that team… that team that hardly ever won, no, let’s be honest… I don’t think we ever won. But we tried and occasionally we scored. We took turns fouling out and chanting from the bench. We played hard…. And even though we were never beat by over 100 points…. we were pretty dismal.

And you can bet your bottom dollar that should some hoop related miracle had occurred and we had started beating our opponents, no “good neighbor routine” would have kept us from continuing to play.

I would post an embarrassing photo of my in my basteball jersey but my scanner has decided to join the long list of household items that find it fun to spontanisouly stop working.

Anyway, thus endeth the basketball rant… except this postscript.

I am dating the Maifan-San aka Anthroslug who is a graduate of Santa Cruz University a college that prides itself on fairies in the forests, redwood trees, lack of fraternities*, and artistic hippy types. I wish I had gone there but I satisfy myself with dating The Maifan-San, visiting the campus whenever I get the chance, and proudly wearing my Slug Shirt to bed more often than is probably attractive. One of the things that the Maifan-San and several of his fellow alumni have remarked upon is the school’s lack of emphasis on sports. Imagine then, if you will, my amusement when I did a search for basketball stores to add to this blog and found this article about the Santa Cruz University Basketball team.

Basketball: it’s everywhere you want to be. But really, woudn’t you rather be watching hockey?


*This might have changed, but for a long time it was one of the things that was special about Santa Cruz University.

4 comments:

Jay said...

The problem with the 100-0 basketball score was that the team that lost was made up of mentally handicapped girls. That's like a 6'4" man trained in martial arts whipping up on a 6 year old girl. It's not exactly sporting or something to be proud of.

When the winning team was up 65-0 in the third quarter they decided they wanted to score 100 points. So, they left all the starters in and put on a full court press and kept going for the steals and shooting three pointers. That is not only unchristian-like behavior, that is incredibly gross sportsmanship.

The coach was not fired for running up the score though. He was fired for going on a radio show and criticizing the school officials who apologized to the losing school after being told specifically not too. That's a HUGE NO-NO in private schools. They can't stand to be criticized.

Kay said...

Hmmm, the article I read didn’t mention the mental difficulties of the girls… or maybe I read it too fast.

Again though… why does it have to be an Unchristian-like action? Why couldn’t it just be Unsportsmanlike?

Are Christian athletes held to a different standard?

Should they be?

What I did read was how the team that lost kept trying and that some people were saying that the fact that they were graceful under the extreme odds says something mighty good about them.

Also, if the teams were that unmatched (mentally impaired vs not) why in the world were they pitted against each other in the first place?

Mojo said...

The one thing that Fox ever said that I agreed with immediately was: "Basketball would be better if it was hockey."

Of course, Fox was also responsible for the late but not lamented Fox-Trax cyber puck too.

Talk about lame.

Phoenix Berries said...

Here in North Carolina, I'm pretty sure there are people who think not liking basketball is "unChristian." At least liking UNC is not Christian to Duke fans, and rooting for Duke is not Christian to UNC fans. It's wacko. We have to schedule church meetings around the ACC. I'm glad there are others out there who think it's lame (besides me).