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Pay (for) the Percolator and Other Titillating News Stories

Due to the economic downturn my company, a rather classic sort of Silicon Valley company that shall remain nameless on this blog, has been looking for ways to cut costs. They have let people go, they have taken one out of every three light bulbs out of the light fixtures, they have raised the cost of vending machine food… and just recently they announced that they will be taking away the free coffee stations.

No more drawers full of cardboard tasting powder stuff…. No more secret ordering of Starbucks… No more pot after pot after pot….

Well, at least no more free stuff. The departments have to pay for it themselves (read: the employees) along with cups, sugar, and anything else coffee related. After a public outcry of horror they have agreed to leave one hot water spigot in the building (the building is quite large) that we will all get to share.

Today was Day One of Do It Yourself Coffee.

Today is also the first day of Lent.

Coincidence? I think not!


In other news:


Mother of 14 and Annoyer of the rest of us, Octo-Mom has been offered a porn deal. There is a Vagina: Not a Clown Car joke to be made, but I am much too refined a lady to make it.

There might be a comet coming to apatch of sky near you!

In Utah the Supreme Court ruled against a small religious group who wanted to put a 3-foot granite slab on the "Seven Aphorisms of Summum" monument in a public park. Good call Utah !

In case you are interested the Seven Aphorisms are as follows:

THE PRINCIPLE OF PSYCHOKINESIS
THE PRINCIPLE OF CORRESPONDENCE
THE PRINCIPLE OF VIBRATION
THE PRINCIPLE OF OPPOSITION
THE PRINCIPLE OF RHYTHM
THE PRINCIPLE OF CAUSE AND EFFECT
THE PRINCIPLE OF GENDER

Don't feel bad if that makes no sense. Some of us just aren't ready for the truth.

They are said to be holy teachings that were on the original tablet that Mosses carried down from the Mount… but after deciding that the people weren’t ready for these higher notes, he only gave the 10 Commandments, or a lower guide for how to live life.


Ummm ok, sure… but considering all the crap-tastic stuff people do in the name of God or while still considering themselves good Christian people, maybe Mosses was on to something.

Take this guy for example who stabbed his son with a knife because the 19 year old wouldn’t take off his hat in church.


And lastly, some good news: Maine has a well deserved reputation of being one of those “cold states over there” but now it can add a Topless Coffee Shop to its claims to fame. I was pleased to note that it isn’t just women, but topless men who work there…

I think I will leave the puns for you....

3 comments:

Steph said...

Well, perhaps your firm's loss is Starbuck's gain. Well. Unless your firm employs an inordinate number of practicing Catholics. And they all gave up coffee for Lent.

And I don't know about awful Christians who do awful things but we here in Sacramento seem to have more than our fair share of awful environmentalists doing awful things in the name of global warming...

Jay said...

Ever noticed how when a Muslim does something horrific the headline reads "Muslim Does Something Horrific" but when a Christian stabs his son in church the Headline doesn't read "Christian Stabs Son?" Weird.

All coffee shops should be topless. The same for donut shops. I'd go in there every morning. That would be a great way to start the day.

But, even if the waitresses were topless I still wouldn't go to Waffle House for breakfast. Actually, that would be even LESS of an incentive now that I think about it. ;-)

Charity Childs-Gevero said...

The economic downturn...it really is getting that bad, isn't it? I mean, so many of my bloggy friends have dropped their blogs, because they are struggling with the times, they can't juggle it with their blogs anymore. It makes me sad.

That crazy whore has been offered a porn job? Like, as a matter of fact? wtf?

Well what's an aphorism anyway? Oh dear...

Oh there are a lot of people who use the name of Christ to describe whatever fanatic-terroristic-judgmental beliefs that they harbor...but I can assure you...that is not Christianity, and that certainly is not what Christ came to earth for. :)

Topless coffee shop....no...no...and no. Eeewwwwah!