STICKY

PERHAPS WE LEARNED SOMETHING.....
…Perhaps we were only mildly entertained. Regardless, please enjoy these Reviews, Responses, Works of Fiction, and Retellings brought to you by one who hopes to someday join the ranks of those who have written something worth reading.
(Kaylia Metcalfe)

Srsly... Y?

What is with the bad grammar?

I’ll admit it… I am not nearly as grammatically sophisticated as some people (I pay an editor for my non blog writing) and I will be quick to jump on the bandwagon of artistic expression when it comes to language. I strongly believe that if you need to misspell a work or create a new word or “incorrectly” punctuate something in prose to make a specific point… more power to you.

But the caveat to that is that it be an improper usage for a purpose.

Note: Sheer laziness is not a purpose. I swear, the world will not end if you take the extra two seconds to type the word “you” instead of the letter “u.” Promise!

And then we have the “bad grammar is cute” people who make me physically ill.

Look a photoshoped photo of a cat talking like a drunk three year old!*





What the heck? Why?... –sputter- WHY?

What is the possible gain from such flagrant disrespect for words… for language… for letters…. Who decide that this pervasive onslaught of bad taste and baby talk was good for society? Who thinks this stuff is funny?

Tell me so I can beat them over the head with a dictionary. Seriously… I feel like starting an Elements of Style Biker Gang and participating in guerrilla grammar tactics.

The thing is that today we rely a lot on written communication. We send emails (some of us send way too many), we post on forums and blogs, we chat… we type and we need to “use our words” or else we risk coming across as imbeciles.

A message like the following is a perfect case in point. This mind blowing example of how not to pick up on women was sent to me by a guy who may or may not be a rather decent individual. Who knows… he might be sweet, funny, kind, and clever. He might be an excellent cook, a masterful chess player, and a perfect dinner companion. But we will never know because this was how he chose to introduce himself to me.

“hi Kay, would u like to chat wit me baby u look so sexy and I like to chat with smart gril like u and what u will say will be great I am nice guy and want to meet nice smart people like u in the area.”

Big shocker here, but I didn’t bother to respond. I’m sorry but even if I were “on the market,” even if I were trolling Facebook for single guys in my area, the severe lack of attention to detail this guy possesses coupled with the overall “wtf?” natural response that his random out of the blue message elicited would inspire me to keep looking.


Ok Ok Ok… Breathe Kay Breathe. And watch this video again.



* Besides we all know that cats, being the refined and majestic creatures they are, would never stoop to this level of lazy diction.

7 comments:

DCup said...

I laughed at this because I'm such a stickler for proper grammar, but I still make up words and generally butcher the language at times in blog posts.

However, that email you got is horrendous. I would immediately assume that they person who wrote it is an imbecile. I guess I'm a language snob/hypocrite!

And though I speak to my poor cats in a high squeaky voice, they never lower themselves to that kind of behavior.

Dave to You said...

Crappy Borat wanna be I would think. Or maybe hope. I will bend the rules a tad within reason. Usually when writing dialogue cause that's the way most folks talk ain't it?
I was also taught a preposition is something you should never end a sentence with.

Dave to You said...

Crappy Borat wanna be guy I would think...hope. I bend the 'rules' a bit myself but usually when writing dialouge. Cause that's the way folks talk ain't it? However..I was taught a while back that a preposition is something you should never end a sentence with.

Jay said...

That dude is smooooooth. I can't believe you wouldn't be all over that guy!

My grammar isn't too bad most of the time. Thank God for spell check though! But, sometimes it's fun to just break all the rules and use fragmented sentences and other crazy things.

Anthroslug said...

Clearly heard not you have - rules grammar change.

Dave Haaz-Baroque said...

That 'Bad Grammar' video is awesome.

One of the main reasons that I hate 'texting' is because it takes forever to type out a message on my phone, as I resolutely refuse to use 'text-speak' such as 'U' for 'you' or '2' for 'to'.

JayRod said...

What I hate most of all is "ne1", although I am guilty of it on occasion, but I tend to act like those I'm around so if others are doing it, I do, damn, I am such a follower. I R such teh rtard.