One of my life goals is “to write something worth reading” and in pursuit of this goal I have written a lot, and most of it not worth reading. But I keep trying.
Sometimes I try in a passive sense.
Sometimes I don’t try at all.
But recent events have reminded me that every day I get older, further from my idealistic youth and that really I should just put up or shut up.
If you know me at all you can probably guess that shutting up is not an option.
So… because I know myself, I have started this blog.
I know that I operate better under deadlines.
I know I need to be held accountable… and that making a goal public is one way to do that.
I know that I resist the spotlight because there is part of me that doesn’t feel worthy of attention.
I know I hide in fiction because I like the control and fear reality.
I know that big changes start with little ones.
I know I am tired of waiting for that perfect moment, (when my life is all organized, my teeth are perfect, my hair has stopped doing that silly flip thing, my books are in alphabetical order, my desk is uncluttered, my pictures are recent and hung with care in the perfect spot) to write, to devote myself to writing. Because that day will never come.
Instead we have today.
Today is March 20th and in honor of Ostara and the whole blessed idea of Spring and New Beginnings… I start this blog.
To keep writing.
To get feedback.
To continue to grow as a person.