…Perhaps we were only mildly entertained. Regardless, please enjoy! If you are looking for Kaylia's official Website please visit KayliaMetcalfeWriter

One Man, Four Parts: Amazing

Ok I was writing a blog about charity work… an actual blog mind you.. and I saw this and after I stopped dancing in my chair, nodding, smiling and such I just had to share it.


Somethings are better bought.

Oh good grief… is it Tuesday already?

That means.. it’s time for Ruby Tuesday! And even if my entry is pathetic, lame, err.. later than everyone else’s.. well, it is still Tuesday for a bit yet eh?

Today’s edition of RT is all abut the yummy good forms of icing, and the gross bad forms of icing.. aka Store Bought Vs Sister Made.

Really… home made things tend to be better… but in the case of icin, ummm, not so much.

Examples of store bought icing.

And then this is what you get when you mix sugary goop, a microwave, my sister Kristen, cold water, and high pitched giggling.

Looks… well, yeah, it looks pretty gross.

And it tasted all sorts of nasty too.

Oh well… live and learn!

I just realized this is my final RT for 2008… a big THANK YOU to Mary for setting the whole thing up and for all you kind wonderful people who click over here once a week.


Squeals of Joy

Ahhh the holidays…

Gifts Gifts Gifts oh and family time.

Actually for me, the best part of the holiday was spending time with the family, both mine and the Family of The Man. (One such member is the sensationally amazing Death Chic who I have linked to before, but, well, here we go again.) I also really enjoyed eating Chinese food on Christmas afternoon and driving up and down the coast in the cold cold sunshine on the 26th.

I didn’t enjoy the ardent stupidity of the Best buy employees who decided to make us the poster children for unsatisfied customers. But that is a totally different thing.

My sisters, as regular blog readers might know, are getting on in years. They are quickly approaching their 20s… and on the whole that is pretty nifty, but there are times when I miss them as little girls with slightly grubby fingers, high pitched voices, and the attention spans of fruit flies.

I don’t have too many friends who have little children… and Baby O (who is quickly getting too old to be called “baby”) lives too far away for me to get to spend oodles of time with her.

So this holiday season I felt really blessed to watch the nephews and niece of The Man while they opened presents. They screamed, they jumped up and down, they talked super fast at volumes that only stray dogs could understand. It was wonderful. It made me feel old and young all at the same time.

On Saturday night we visited a few other family members and again I was privileged to experience the excitement of a young-ish-person-type as I watched a ten year old fly a tiny remote controlled helicopter around in circles in the living room.

Yes, a tiny remote controlled helicopter.

It has a twin… and apparently when they are both being flown, they can “shoot lasers” at each other and cause each other to crash.

That’s just…. AWESOME!

Did they have cool toys like that when I was ten? I don’t remember. (And to be honest, I might not have been terribly interested in a remote controlled helicopter at age ten… but still…)


On the one hand I was impressed and jealous. On the other hand I remember the elation of playing pretend… our airplanes and space ships were made from empty toilet paper rolls and pipe cleaner, I had a wooden lamp that was secretly a pagan idol worthy of worship and there was a place in the carpet which was actually a trap that would send an unsuspecting Barbie on a trip to an alternative universe (the backyard). In other words, I made do.

And I would like to think that having an overactive imagination and by seeing things that weren’t there is a mark of a creative spirit.

Not that the ten year old in question won’t be using his imagination as he dive bombs the puppy with the helicopter or flies is tight little circles above my head… just that sometimes I wonder if the kids of today are missing something.

What ever happened to towel capes and random kitchen utensils that doubled as weapons of minor destruction?

When did video games become the catch all, the default for kid oriented entertainment?

But just at the moment when I felt my curmudgeonist cynicism starting to swell… I read this article that talks about how nothing can ever top either the Stick or the Box for childhood glee.

Ahhh, the simple things.

Next year, should I be lucky enough to be shopping for a child-like-creature, I think
I will rustle up some rubber bands, some marbles, and some empty rolls of wrapping paper.

With a bit of imagination, the possibilities are endless

You Tube Bless Us, Everyone!

Well yes, it is indeed time for the winter holidays.

Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanza, Solstice….

For your viewing pleasure I have put together a few happy, silly, pretty, and downright hilarious videos… or rather I took half an hour on you tube and found a few happy, silly, pretty, and downright hilarious videos.

This first one is something I heard on the radio years ago when I was a kid… I remember my mother chocking on her eggnog while listening to it. I found it via you tube and while there is no picture, the sounds of Steve Martin is a delight. (Rated PG 13)

This next short video is to remind you of all the years when you dressed up in your Sunday Best and preformed like the trained monkey that you were. I was happily part of many a school Christmas pageant…. I even played the part of the Virgin Mary way back in 3rd grade… stop laughing, I was adorable! Anyway, since there is (thankfully) no video or readily assessable photo evidence of my years of being angelic (once with a green halo) you will all have to settle with this treat. (Rated “Awwwwww” Be Warned, this might make you coo.)

It wouldn’t be a holiday in my family’s house without someone singing. Or rather… all of us singing. Sometimes we even tried to sing on key. Sometimes we even sang the same song. Sometimes. Ahhh happy loud memories…. Again, because I love my family and would like to keep them loving me, you all don’t get to see any of that action. Instead here are some mighty pretty women doing some mighty pretty singing. (Rated E for everyone who wants to be reminded that making a joyful noise can involve actual good singing and does not need to involve causing one’s father to hide his head and beg for it to just STOP!)

Another singing tid bit. Because there is no time like the holidays to poke gentle fun at authority. (Rated S for Silly)

The internet is full of people who have too much time on their hands. Not us bloggers. Not at all. But those other people who make stop animation or photoshop random things into old Star Trek photos. I love these people. Without their tireless attention to campiness we wouldn’t have videos like this. Most of these shots are rather lame but there are a few that look not only realistic but also as if we interrupted the intrepid crew of the Enterprise in the midst of something decidedly, well… a bit risqué. What do we learn from these photos? Don’t mess with Kirk when it comes to cookies. (Rated T…. as in the only people this is going to entertain are self proclaimed Trekies who like twitter alarmingly as their minds fill up with new “inside” jokes.)

Ok this one is for all the stoners out there… or the former stoners.. or the people who used to hang out with the stoners because lets face it, those cats were funny as hell when they got going. I have no idea where the audio comes from for this.. but you haven’t really had the Holiday Experience until some drunken frat boy does his rendition of this classic… and you realize that it sounds exactly the same as the original! (Rated S because really, this is for a niche group of my readers… and they know who they are.)

Back to the Safe For The Whole Family. John Denver and the Muppets were a staple in the Former In Law Family’s Christmas Celebration. There is something so quaint and sweet about this combination. No snark here, just a happy moment of nostalgia for Denver and Kermit. (Rated N for Necessary)

But the best version of the 12 Days of Christmas is this one. I might be juvenile but this makes me laugh every time. I always wanted to date a Canadian man so that I could follow these gift giving ideas. (note to The Man… if you dress up like a Mountie, this will be your prize.) (Rated MNY for Maybe Next Year)

Lastly we have Kay’s Christmas Crushes.. Then and Now.

Then: New Kids on the Block… who all grew up to be fine looking men… even my personal favorite Donnie.

Now: Jon Stewart and Stephen Collbert. Enough said.

Whew! Thank you for joining me on this video homage to the holidays!

Whatever you celebrate this time of year, do it with gumption and flair!

Witty title making some sort of pun involving cookies and pillows

Yes indeed… it is time for Ruby Tuesday!

In case you want to see something red that will also make you glad that you don’t have his job, click here to see The Man's peripheral contribution to RT.

I am baking tonight… making a few yummy things and using this delightful sugar cookie mixing set that I received as a gift.

Pretty nifty eh?

Mmmm cookies…

I had cookies for breakfast this morning as well… cookies and tea (see the cup looks a lot better with something in it.)

And just so you don’t think that all I can take photos of are food type things… Check out these amazing red pillows that I found on the couch.

The Man and Mister Scott have quite the fashion sense no?

This wraps up my second to last RT entry for the year 2008!

Merry Christmas, Blessed Yule, Happy Hanukah, and Joyous Kwanza!

Whatever you celebrate this year… do it with gusto and flair!

Warm and Happy Thoughts

Life has been pretty darn great the last few days….

With the addition of this...

...and this...

...into my life, there really is no room to complain.

(Thank you to my folks and Jessica!)

The space heater couldn’t have come at a better time… the fact that it has been mighty might cold here the last few weeks coupled with the fact that the heater in my bedroom is a no-go and the heater in the living room does little more than heat a tiny potion of the living room while making the sound of a small jet engine plane during take off and causing the floor and thing things upstairs to vibrate at an alarming rate.

So, space heater equals joy.

And the camera is delightful as well. I am still figuring out how it works….

… but I am enjoying taking such riveting photos as

What I ate for lunch!

See… the close up is dynamite!

Off to go ice skating on some rooftop in SF… because why not?

Happy Solstice everyone!

Changing Sides

Just in case you think I have been too much of a downer Miss Cranky-Pants lately….

Great news!

California’s Attorney General Jerry Brown reversed his stance on the Prop 8 issue and urged the CA Supreme Court to invalidate it.

"There are certain rights that are not to be subject to popular votes, otherwise they are not fundamental rights," Brown said in an interview. "If every fundamental liberty can be stripped away by a majority vote, then it's not a fundamental liberty."

The Court will hear the case in March… and just in case you need something else to make you roll your eyes with slight contempt, The Pro Prop 8 legal team is being headed by Ken Star the lovable ignoramus who y’all might remember from the Clinton years.

The reversal of sides for Jerry brown is wonderful news. See… sometimes people can change their minds.

Thank you Mr. Brown… let’s hope that more people will recognize this civil rights issue for what it is.



I know almost nothing about football or football drafts.

What I do know is that some players get drafted and then they get to go and play “pro”.

I also know that this college football player named Cody who is hoping to “go pro” at some point in the future has a girlfriend who thought it would be funny to post a Facebook update saying “Cody is going pro!” and get everyone excited over nothing.


What bothers me… what bothers me a whole heck of a lot is the following line in the article about this boring-slow-news-day-who-cares article.

“Cody's junior college background suggests he's not exactly the bookish type, anyway.”

What the hell?

Ummm excuse me? Where the hell do you get off saying that those of us who went to junior college/community college aren’t bookish? I garun-freakin-tee you that I read more books in 2008 than the writer of this bogusly insensitive line: Matt Hinton.

Matt Hinton: I hereby award you for the first annual “Don’t Be Such an Idiot” award.

This trophy is given to you by this Proud-To-Be Community College Transfer State School College Graduate.

Flash Fiction Friday

Welcome to the 2nd installment of my Flash Fiction series.

Wordsmith has a monthly Flash Fiction prompt… and being the shameless self promoter that I am, I have decided to take part.

Part Two below picks up in the same place and time… so feel free to read it alone or in sequence.

Part One is here

Here was the photo prompt for part two. (Part Two after the image.)

The moments stretched on. Slowly the weak sunlight moved from one end of the bench to the other changing everything and nothing at once. At last he lay the stub carefully down and let out a breath he hadn’t been aware he’d been holding.

“I’m done.” He said, his voice hushed by the moment.

She opened her eyes and then moved her body, gingerly, as if reacquainting herself with its movements.

He crossed the room and turned on the lamp filling the room with harsh yellow light.

When he turned back she was sitting on the edge of the bed, her legs spread, her hands cupping her stomach fingers gently tracing the outline of herself.

“Do you need… anything?”

She looked up at him, here eyes still blank, her mouth still cruel and shook her head.

He knelt down and ran his hand across her tight skin, feeling the warmth of her body. He was awkward but driven and his hands smelt of charcoal. Her hair held the faint aroma of vanilla.

Catching his breath at last in the sudden silence he looked down at her and wished that he could draw this part of her, share in the darkness that now enveloped both of them. He felt a primal need to mark her skin with thick black dust. He thought of ancient women dancing in firelight, their bodies covered in paint.

“Your time is almost up.” Her voice brought him out of his reverie.

“Yes, yes, I know.” He moved quickly back across the room and fumbled for his wallet. “Maybe I could pay you for a little longer.”

“No,” The tone was flat, the eyes were sharp. She stood and turned away from him, her silhouette on the wall long, her belly a large and uncompromising shape. She bent over awkwardly and began to pull her clothes back on.

“Wait,” He suddenly felt protective, “Can I give you a ride somewhere?”

“Just the money.” She was dressed now, her hair up. She wound a scarf around her neck.

He held the bills out and tried not to feel resentment as she counted them and then put them neatly away next to the “up front” cash he had given her two hours ago.

She shut the door softly behind her and he listened to her descend the stairs.

From behind the curtains he watched her blend into the street traffic, her head down, her shape almost completely hidden in her coat.

Nothing about her special, no tell tale sign that she had been here, that she had posed for him, that she had laid under him hardly moving.

Just another pregnant woman doing her last minute Christmas shopping.

... when is enough enough?

As you can read here, The Dugger family now has 18 children.

Obviously the photos are outdated.

18 kids.

Holy smokes. I am still trying to wrap my head around having one... someday... maybe... MAYBE....

So, yeah, 18 kids. You can go to the Dugger Website and see a photo slide show which features photos of the house, the many many children, the prayer closet, the many many children, the classic famly photo opps, the many many children....

Because what the world needs is more people.

Thank You Arnold, Thank You Rob


According to the Associated Press, California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger says he will veto an $18 billion package of budget cuts and tax increases Democratic lawmakers pushed through the Legislature.

He said it didn’t do enough.

I would like to point out that sometimes, when you wait for the perfect day to go camping you end up waiting all summer and not getting to go at all.

Or… some other metaphor that isn’t so alien.

Seriously… there are some things in life worth waiting for… and then there are times when you ought to take what you can get.

In other news… I owe a huge debt to the magnificent Rob who talked me through setting up Firefox. This upgrade was due in part to this article and me finally caving to Jessica’s insistence that Internet Explorer is evil.

Rob also managed to (via Facebook chat by the way) take care of my Google problem.

What Google problem you might ask….

I typed in

And for some reason kept getting routed to this version of Google

Go ahead, click on it. Imagine my frustration.

After impressively helping me find a temporary fix to this annoying computer bug he also pointed me toward this article which almost made me want to revisit the glamour of drive in movies. Almost.

Speaking of movies…. Here is a video that is supposed to make us all feel uplifted and happy and “go get ‘em” and such but really just fills me with a sense of “wow… I watch too many movies”

Happy Friday!

Trick or Treatment?

For those of you who don't live in California, allow me to fill you in.

Our state is big.
Our state is full of people, many of whom are great, some of whom are not so great.
Our state is governed by The Terminator who actually hasn't done that horrible of a job.

Our state is in debt.
Our state is almost out of money.

In fact, come February, the state will be totally out of money... and public works projects like road work, building construction, and many other social services will cease. Also, the state workers (people like the worker bees over at the Department of Nursing, Department of Justice, etc) might not get paid.

Something has to be done... and they appear to have been trying for a long long long time. However even though this state considers itself progressive in a few ways, the bickering and tantrum throwing antics of the state legislator have been nauseating.

The Republican and the Democrat legislators can't seem to reach an agreement, and the tax payers don't want to pay more in taxes.

Something has to give.

Enter the "out of the box" or "tricky" thinking Democrats. (Depends on who you ask.)

They want to raise 9.3 billion bucks via new taxes and fees.

Wait, you might be saying... didn't Californians vote back in 1978 via Prop 13 to ensure that state taxes couldn't be raised without a 2/3rds majority vote? You would be right.

Wait, you might be saying... isn't the validity of a 2/3rd versus a simple majority in order to change the state's constitution being very closely examined as we speak? (Well, no... not until January, but still.)

Wait, you might be saying... what sorts of taxes and fees?

Gas Tax of 13 to 35 cents a gallon (depending on the news source)
State Sales tax increase by 3/4 of a cent
2.5 surcharge on state income taxes

That sounds bad. And it sounds illegal because of the aforementioned Prop 13.

But wait! The Democrats will cut spending (7 billion) in other areas -no news source had a verified list- and thus they say they wouldn’t be raising taxes and fees as much as shifting them around somewhat.

So, a few things spring to mind.

Raising taxes is never fun. however, the taxes that we pay go toward services that we need and use. Therefore, even though it isn't ideal, wouldn't you rather everyone pay more in taxes and have a working infrastructure? I would.

Also, if you are wigged out by the thought of paying more for gas when the price has finally dropped back to the cheap side of affordable... take heart: The proposal would eliminate an 18-cent-a-gallon excise tax on gas and a fluctuating sales tax on gas, replacing them with the proposed per-gallon fee.

Livable yes?

I don't actually have a problem with the plan... but I know that if it were put to the vote, it would fail. And the democrats know that as well... which is why they are trying this back door approach. Which would seem sneaky if it weren't being talked about out in the public eye.

Still, a bit loop-hole-ish. I wonder what the long term effect of allowing this to happen would be. Some people are saying that should the vote pass, it would immediately be taken to the courts. Because delay is just what we all need right now.

Oh, one more thing.. even if it passes the State House, the Terminator would still have to sign it into effect...

What do you think? Do desperate times call for desperate measures? Or s this a group sleigh ride down a slippery slope and a dangerous solution?


Say It Ain't So, Mr. O!

A few things this very very cold morning:

First off, as you may have read (like, everywhere) the program for Obama’s Inauguration has been set. Aretha Franklin will sing. Yo-Yo Ma will play.

And Rick Warren will invocate.

Who is Rick Warren? He is the evangelical pastor giving Billy Graham a run for his tithe money. He is Pro Life, Anti Gay Marriage, and Anti Stem Cell Research… he is, after all a Southern Baptist California Preacher Man.

Now… I know Obama himself is a God Fearing individual… the majority of American people wouldn’t have it any other way. I also know that in order to reach across the asile and make friends with the McCain/Palin supporters a certain bit of pandering to the far right is to be expected. And really… it isn’t that having a pastor present, a well known and in may circles respected pastor at that take part in the Inauguration bothers me. Because let’s face it… the majority of Americans are religious and even if I think it is in slightly poor taste, it makes a sort of political sense.

Or does it?

Warren was very vocally for Prop 8 and the “gay agenda” (as many pastors and religious figures are.)

The LGBT community overwhelmingly voted for Obama.

And they are not really happy as it is right now.

Just saying.

Lastly… I found this gem from the News Tribune:

And early this month, Warren took his annual civil forum on health to Washington, D.C., where he gave President George W. Bush the first-ever International Medal of Peace for the president's work on combating global HIV/AIDS.

Again, I see what O! is doing… and again a certain bit of pandering is to be expected… but that doesn’t make it any less bothersome and disappointing.


Painting The Town Red

Yes indeed, it’s Ruby Tuesday!

And because it is, after all, December…. Here are a few holiday type RT photos. *From the mall... because nothing says Holiday Magic like Sales and Shoppng and Standing In Line and Dinner at The Pretzel Stand....

Now on to the interesting ones yes?

Last week The (Green Eyed Studmuffin of a) Man and I met up with a gaggle of Skepchick bloggers and readers and hangers-on in the lovely Red tinted 500 Club in SF.

Do you read Skepchick? You should… a whole lot of interesting stuff goes on over there… critical thinking stuff, science stuff, snark stuff, even the occasional political or cute animal type stuff.

Anyway, on Wednesday we drank Pan Galactic Gargle Blastors and other delightful creations while flipping through pin up calendars. The (Green Eyed Studmuffin of a) Man somehow lucked out and didn’t get his photo taken but here are a few of me and the other amazing Skepchicks and Skepdudes… all bathed in the lovely red glow of bar lights.

The PBGBs... and yes that is dry ice.

This is cranberry juice. Absolutely Cranberry Juice.

Yours Truly with the awesome Skepchick bag... and a teeny tiny bit of The (Red Eyed Studmuffin of a) Man... and even Sean in the background!

Jeff aka Happy RT everyone!Detroitus holding court in his science tee.

And the marvleous A (our hostess)

(Thank you A. for a great evening… and for the use of the PGGB photo!)

Guess where I'm going?

In less than a month, I will be able to add another thing to my list of “Cool Things I Got To Do In This Life Of Mine.”

Drum roll please…..

Thank you,

In January, The (Tall Good Looking Blond) Man and I will be traveling to Tokyo.

Yep, Tokyo… Japan!

Wow eh?
Wow indeed.

This totally eclipses the Portland Trip of September… after all this is not just a city I have never been ton before, but a City/Country/Continent that I have never been to before.

This will be my first time outside the US, my first plane trip longer than five hours…

Japan…. Wow.

I don’t know any Japanese words… I am lucky that my sushi place has things called “The Batman Roll’ and “The Happy Bag’ … the items with only Japanese words usually are accompanied with pictures. So besides, Dono Arigato Mister Roboto I will be at a loss.

I know nothing about the geography of Tokyo or Japan itself. It is an island… there is a big mountain called Mount Fugi…. and a creepy house in part of the city where a freaky curse will try to kill you. Other than that…

Oh wait, I read about
Geishas… and I have been following the adventures of Hiro and the
Death Note for a little while now.

Yep, I am a fountain of non-information. Which is just embarrassing.

And that should make this not just a mind blowing exciting and fun trip… but also an eye opening and educational trip. Which will just makes it all that much more fun and exciting.

That is my big news for right now… and probably for a while to come… because how do you top that?

Oh… and thankfully I got this a while back, hooray for an inkling that I might need it at some point.

And YAY for going to Japan!

Srsly... Y?

What is with the bad grammar?

I’ll admit it… I am not nearly as grammatically sophisticated as some people (I pay an editor for my non blog writing) and I will be quick to jump on the bandwagon of artistic expression when it comes to language. I strongly believe that if you need to misspell a work or create a new word or “incorrectly” punctuate something in prose to make a specific point… more power to you.

But the caveat to that is that it be an improper usage for a purpose.

Note: Sheer laziness is not a purpose. I swear, the world will not end if you take the extra two seconds to type the word “you” instead of the letter “u.” Promise!

And then we have the “bad grammar is cute” people who make me physically ill.

Look a photoshoped photo of a cat talking like a drunk three year old!*

What the heck? Why?... –sputter- WHY?

What is the possible gain from such flagrant disrespect for words… for language… for letters…. Who decide that this pervasive onslaught of bad taste and baby talk was good for society? Who thinks this stuff is funny?

Tell me so I can beat them over the head with a dictionary. Seriously… I feel like starting an Elements of Style Biker Gang and participating in guerrilla grammar tactics.

The thing is that today we rely a lot on written communication. We send emails (some of us send way too many), we post on forums and blogs, we chat… we type and we need to “use our words” or else we risk coming across as imbeciles.

A message like the following is a perfect case in point. This mind blowing example of how not to pick up on women was sent to me by a guy who may or may not be a rather decent individual. Who knows… he might be sweet, funny, kind, and clever. He might be an excellent cook, a masterful chess player, and a perfect dinner companion. But we will never know because this was how he chose to introduce himself to me.

“hi Kay, would u like to chat wit me baby u look so sexy and I like to chat with smart gril like u and what u will say will be great I am nice guy and want to meet nice smart people like u in the area.”

Big shocker here, but I didn’t bother to respond. I’m sorry but even if I were “on the market,” even if I were trolling Facebook for single guys in my area, the severe lack of attention to detail this guy possesses coupled with the overall “wtf?” natural response that his random out of the blue message elicited would inspire me to keep looking.

Ok Ok Ok… Breathe Kay Breathe. And watch this video again.

* Besides we all know that cats, being the refined and majestic creatures they are, would never stoop to this level of lazy diction.

My continuing crush on Jon Stewart

Special Thanks to Jeff for this.

In his words “Mike Huckabee is still a douchebag. And Jon Stewart still rocks.”

I couldn’t say it better myself.

If you are wondering why I keep coming back to this issue… if you are one of the four people who wrote to me and told me to pick a different dead horse to beat… let me just say that sometimes constant attention is necessary in order to someday achieve change.

Plus... Jon Stewart rocks!

On that note, Happy Friday!


My baby sister turns 18 today.

Let’s let that sink in for just a second.

Gina, Duckie, Squeak,… Whatever I have called her over the years…. She is still my baby sister. Who is now all legal.

My other “little” sister will be 20 in just over a month.

*Little is a relative term seeing how they are both taller than I am.

I feel…. Old.

But also, I feel amazingly blessed to have known these two girls their whole lives and for a sizable chunk of mine. Ten years apart in age, sure… but they are still my little sisters.

And as the big sister, it is my sacred duty to love them forever, to be here for them always, and to occasionally get all sappy and gush over them.

So Gina… HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

(Here she is with me… doing our Super Hero pose.)


I love you and I am so blessed to have you as my baby sister. I remember watching you being born… it was one of the most amazing and disgusting things I have ever been lucky enough to witness. Did you know that when you came out, you were all purple and slimy? The nurse carried you over to the side table and wrapped you up in a blanket. Before she took you back to Mom, I bent down and touched your cheek with my finger. I wanted to be the first person to touch you.

You were tiny and at first you weren’t all that fun. Later you were bigger and a lot of fun to torture, errr I mean play with.

I have watched you grow into such a wonderfully complex and fascinating young woman. (Do I sound like grandma yet?) You have a poise and a self confidence that is marvelous to behold… and a fashion sense and a quick wit that is enviable.

You were an amazing kid… and a mighty fine teenager. I know you are going to be a remarkable adult.

I love you kiddo!



I had a list… somewhere… a list of blog ideas.

And some of them were pretty decent.

But in the process of changing purses several times in the last week, I have misplaced my list. Which just goes to show you that writing lists and other important pieces of information on random pieces of scratch paper, is dumb.

Even better? I actually carry a notebook around with me for the express purpose of being able to write notes down that won’t disappear or get mistaken for trash.

Even BETTER? For my birthday The Boyfriend* gave me a new beautiful leather bound notebook to use for said lists, story ideas and general “I should write that down” moments.

And yet…..

So my bloging has suffered due to my extreme lameness. I humbly apologize.

…. I have also been super busy with the whole social life as well as the writing. (Mild panic in regards to the writing…. )

Tonight I am procrastinating finishing a short story by shivering in my heater-less apartment. Yes, I know it isn’t Missouri or North Carolina, or even Sacramento…. But darn it, it is 35 degrees outside and a whooping 61 degrees in here. (I know, I checked!)

And it will only get colder.

It isn’t that bad…. And I know that winter won’t last forever… and heck shivering must burn calories right? Ignore the sound of my teeth chattering as I huddle under the blankets and use my laptop for warmth.

I think for Christmas this year I want a space heater.

Or this

Because, drool!

Of course being the good little planner that I am…. My actual Christmas shopping for other people is done. It is really easy when you only buy 1 thing, throw it in the middle of the living room carpet and yell “Fight!’ at your friends. Entertaining and cheap! Plus, I like to think that whoever manages to come out of the scramble with the gift and all his/her original teeth intact will be even more grateful.

Ahh the holidays….

Really though, for those of you out there who might be doing your Christmas shopping now… or who are putting it off for later when the lines and the crowds ramp up past “annoying” and into the ‘insane’ category… may I offer a few web based ideas?

*These one-of-a-kind gifts are also proper punishment for anyone who, when asked “what do you want for Christmas/’ says something exceedingly helpful like “I dunno, whatever.”

Personal Soundtrack Tee Shirt

Another Awesome Tee Shirt

Flying Monkey Stocking Stuffer

I bet you all can guess the one I want, yes?

And lastly… not exactly a gift idea, but still worth 60 seconds of your life. Ever watched a Kid/College Student/Me play with bubble wrap? Imagine that with a puppy! And Balloons! (no sound needed)

Anyway, happy almost weekend!

*Anthroslug aka The Man aka The Boyfriend aka Matthew…. For some reason he hasn’t run screaming from my life even if I do randomly rename him on a whim.

Beware Falling Red

That’s right… It’s Ruby Tuesday!

First off, here is the photo that went along with this post. Since I forgot to attach it there, I will go ahead and put it here.

Aww aren’t they pretty? And no, there will be no photos of my equally pretty red tipped toes.

For today’s RT, let us journey back to the Tuesday before Thanksgiving when yours truly did some baking. Ok, a lot of baking.

There was this pie, Cherry with a crust.

This pie; Oreo Cookie Cream

This other Cherry pie.

Oatmeal chocolate chip cookies (special birthday cookies for a very special birthday someone)

And home made bread. (and when I saw home made, I mean really home made… no cheating machines here.)


Now, as any of you who happen to read this blog on a semi regular basis know, I am not big into the cooking. In fact, I hardly cook at all. But I love baking. With the weather getting cooler… I hope to do more baking soon. Say, late January once everything calms back down.

While baking I did have a bit of broken coffee mug drama.

The twin to this coffee mug…

.. ended up like this.

Broken on the floor because I didn’t see it as I was attempting to pull a large mixing bowl out of the top cupboard in our kitchen. Down it fell and shattered.

But how pretty are the pieces of the glass that fell upon my head…

Happy Tuesday everyone…. May you all have a great week!

Sleeping Upright

I have been having a great week. I guess that makes since, it was my birthday and nothing makes you feel wonderfully special quite like having people remember you and go out of their way to be nice to you.

And the gifts.

I haven’t been writing as much lately for a myriad of reasons. First off, I have been trying to focus on my “other” writing due to deadlines and such. Also, I have been super busy.

And then there is the sleepiness.

The lack-of-caffeine-inspired-headaches have been getting progressively better. I only seem to get them in the late afternoon early evenings now, and they only last for about 3-4 hours. On the whole, that is livable. The new problem is that I am tired. All the time. Even after a full wonderful night of sleep. Tired.

Which really isn’t that big of a deal, because there are often things to do, people to talke to, life to live and being tired doesn’t really affect anything.

Until it does.

On Friday night I stopped at the mall on my way home from work to get my nails done. It was my birthday after all, and I have a whole slew of holiday parties to attend, so getting my nails done seemed like a good idea. I have gone to this shop before and while their insistent Hard Selling is very annoying, I know I can get in and out with minimal cost and in about 45 mins. I got there at 4:30.

I left at5:45 and by the time I had gotten back to the LR station I had missed my train and had to wait for the 6:15 train… getting me home at 6:40.

Did I mention that we had dinner plans at 7?

Take two parts parents, one part younger sibling, add in one part boyfriend and two parts best friend. Mix in a small hole in the wall type Chinese restaurant, Friday night traffic, and the insanity, err ”fun” of rush hour freeway driving… and you get me frantically calling everyone apologizing for running late while I try to untangle myself from my clothes and take the world’s fastest shower.

Why, you may ask did it take an hour and fifteen minutes to get my nails done? It didn’t.

It took about 40 minutes… and then I fell asleep in the pedicure chair and they let me sleep for over half an hour.

That isn’t all that bad right? I mean, it is a pedicure chair and for those of you unenlightened souls, the pedicure chair typically is a massage chair that is running your back and your neck in wonderfully relaxing ways while a nice lady washes, lotions, and massages your feet and lower legs. All in all very nice. I am sure I am not the first person to drift off in the chair.

However… this is me and I am a very unattractive sleeper. I drool. I snore. I sometimes thrash about slightly. I mumble… sometime I talk outright. At one level of REM I will tell you anything you want to know.. the filter of ”too much information’ gets turned off and I will happily tell you exactly what I thought of your last haircut if asked. I have been known to react badly (violently) to being awaken suddenly

All good reasons for me to be picky about who I sleep not only with, but in front of. When I suddenly sat up, wide awake, hair fuzzy, glasses half falling off, totally disoriented and panicked… the nice ladies of the nail shop had the good grace to laugh loudly and pat me on the head. “We let you sleep!’ they told me happily. “We watch you. You’re funny girl!”

Do you tip extra for the nap?

Anyway, that was Friday. On Saturday we had a fun filled time in San Francisco eating yummy Italian food and then visiting Fort Point. Later I was the highly paid escort of the divine Jessica to a holiday party complete with several white wine spritzers and some mighty fine, if overly rum-ified cocktails.

And now I am drinking the liquid version of apple pie in a Starbucks and trying to put the finishing touches on a short story that will hopefully be considered “good” by my editor.

I might not be bloging as much in the next few weeks… what with the holidays, the working late to afford the holidays, the social engagements, and the strange need to sleep a full 8 hours each night.

Oh… and in honor of today being Pearl Harbor Day, here is a photo I took at Fort Point.

Peace y’all!

Day One Of The Rest Of My Life

Yes, yesterday was indeed my birthday. I spent most of it at work eating cheesecake and the rest of it being productive with my excellent editor and then relaxing with some fine Italian dining with my wonderful boyfriend.

Mmmm cake...

Thank you to everyone who sent nice thoughts via text, email, comments, phone calls…. I felt very loved.

And no… two mornings after the incident, the guy has not reappeared for an encore.

Too bad really,