STICKY

PERHAPS WE LEARNED SOMETHING.....
…Perhaps we were only mildly entertained. Regardless, please enjoy these Reviews, Responses, Works of Fiction, and Retellings brought to you by one who hopes to someday join the ranks of those who have written something worth reading.
(Kaylia Metcalfe)

For Kaylia's Book/Movie/TV Review Blog, please click here to be redirected to Perhaps Reviewed.... 


Also, don't forget to visit Kaylia's Official Website where you can get information about Kaylia's upcoming events, and learn more about her free lance writing and other publications.

Eye Update

I left off on a good note... and then woke up with rainbows and lose of vision all over again.

Weeks later, so many many many trips to Kaiser, new meds, old meds, pills that are INSANE in terms of price, steroid drops that make me ill, and so much pain and aggravation later...

THIS is where we stand.

My eyes are getting better. The glaucoma is being caused by an inflammation. Despite all the tests (including a chest x-ray) they have no idea what is causing the inflammation. So... they can treat the symptom, but not the cause.

Also, the treatment isn't going as smooth as it should be.

So. Another two weeks on drops that make me sick, but no more drops that make my fingers and toes go numb. Two more weeks of blurry vision, sensitivity to light, and difficulty reading. But no more pills that cost an arm and a leg. (unless stuff, and then it all comes back... so yay for living in mild state of wary panic at all times... is that blurry too blurry or just a smudge on my glasses....)

Hopefully we will kick the crap out of the inflammation and they won't have to up the number of times I drop little bits of pain into my eyes from four times a day to (gulp) six or eight.

Since they don't know what is causing it, they will have to monitor me carefully to catch it if/when it comes back.

And now you know.




I have Glaucoma and I love Kaiser

I got new glasses last week.



Totally unrelated except for the "wow, that's a weird coincidence"... last weekend I developed glaucoma.

At first I thought I was having trouble adjusting to my new prescription. Then i thought I was getting a migraine. But soon the rainbows around all the light sources and the loss of focus, the inability to read, and the inability to see anything but bright light when I would stand up or move around coupled with the hazy fuzzy foggy cloud of smoke that seemed to have taken up residence in front of my eyes.. no, wait.. just my good eye... yeah all this had me starting to freak out a bit.

The next day it hadn't gone away and I was in full on freak out mode.

It was Sunday. I called the switchboard. I asked to talk to the advice nurse.

She referred me to someone in Optometry.

He listened to my plight and then promised to pass along the message to the scheduling team who would call me the next day. "If they don't call you by the end of the day, you can call them to set up an appointment for Tuesday."

I reiterated again how I wasn't able read.

He told me that they would probably want to dilate my eyes so I would need to allow for extra time before driving home.

I started to sob and almost hyperventilated in frustration. Drive? Are you on drugs. I cannot see!  I CANNOT SEE!!!!!

He promised to have the one call doctor call me.

Half an hour later, a call from the on call doctor who will always have a special place in my heart. He listened and told me to meet him at the hospital in thirty minutes.

(Quick note,Kaiser on a Sunday afternoon is very very empty)

He did an exam and told me my pressure was super high and he could see cloudy on my cornea. "Yep," he said matter of factly, "It's glaucoma."

And I was so relieved.

For reals. See, I don't have lenses in my eyes. I have known that I was at risk for glaucoma forever. I have always lived with the idea that there is a real chance my vision will deteriorate and could possibly go away at some point.

Getting glaucoma was just a matter of time... and Dr Waxman was very confident that we had caught it quick enough to stop any serious loss of vision. He gave me drops and made an appointment for me to see the specialist on Tuesday.

I'm going to skip over the rest of the crazy... the vacillating between fear and acceptance, the frustration of being on "eye rest" which meant no reading of any sort (no texting, email, facebook, etc).

After seeing the specialist this morning and having a banner response to the eye drops this is where we stand:

I have glaucoma. I  have lost a tiny bit of vision. My pressure is still higher than ideal, but it is acceptable. It will need to be monitored pretty regularly. I will have to take eye drops twice a day for the rest of my life. This should hold off any more loss of vision. Oh... and since my prescription has changed, I will probably need new glasses... but since I just got new glasses, I should be able to return the new pair for the newer pair.

Really? It was the best prognosis one could possibly hope for.

I'm doing fine, adjusting to my new (only slightly different vision) and the glasses that aren't quite right.

I am very lucky that Matthew has a job that lets us have such good vision insurance. I am very lucky that Kaiser was ON IT and got me in asap. I am SUPER lucky that Chris wasn't busy Sunday afternoon and that Mark was able to come be with me this week and help me care for Ella before the drops started really working and I couldn't see much of anything. I am so very very very lucky to have a partner like Matthew and such a great family and friend support system.

Here's a hope that we don't have any weekends quite that eciting for a while.

On not being a hypocrite while being an optimmist.



Me: Look at my stupid funger, it is all swollen and gross.
Matt: What happened?
Me: I don't know. I had a hangnail and I bumped it, not sure what was first but it is super tender and driving me crazy.
Matt: That looks infected. you should call your doctor.
Me: I don't want to,
Matt: But you should.

Later....

On the phone with my grandmother discussing her cough and hoarse voice.

Me: I think it has been long enugh, you should probably call your doctor.
Her: I don't want to.
Me: That's not the point, you should call your doctor anyway.
Her: Mmhmmm.

The irony not lost on me, I sent a message to my doctor via email.

This sounds odd, I know that I had a hangnail and now my finger is all swollen, very tender to the touch, warm to the touch, and bright red with a little white next to the nail. It is making it very hard to type, and as a writer, that is kind of a big deal...

I figured it would go away on its own but it has been a few days and my husband is freakng me out by insisting that it is infected. I promised him I would email you. The pic is blury but it sort of shows what Iam talking about.


I included a blury photo of my finger.
Less than two hours later she wrote back.

Your finger does look infected. The picture is blurry but I think there may be a pocket of pus which we may need to open and let out. It would be good to come in. In the meantime I've sent antibiotics for your to pick up and take.

I hate when he's right.

The good news is that he can get my perscription for me.

The bad news is I get to go have my finger drained on Tuesday.

The even better news is that Ella gets to come with me.

BUT, being the optimist I am, I'm going to use thiis as a learning tool... she can watch me have this done and then get my flu shot and learn that boo-boos happen, that doctors help us, and that everyone gets shots but live and recover quickly.

At least that is what I am telling myself.







Did I mention it is the middle finger?


Memory Book update

Just ordered Ella's "Birth - 1 Year" memory book.


You'll love Shutterfly's award-winning photo books. Try it today.



She is almost 20 months old... so I feel this is pretty good, time wise.

My *goal* is to finish each of her memory books between her birthday and Christmas, but that is a lofty goal and not super practical. 

Ok, next up:
Matt and Kay Go To Tokyo Memory Book!
Matt and Kay Go To England Memory Book!
Matt and Kay Get MARRIED Memory Book!

Liklihood of these all getting done before the family reunion next month?

Nil to none.

Oh well.


Sometimes you can't win

A list of the things I did tonight that made Ella cry. A partial list that only represents the last hour of our day.

I gave her a fork
I gave her a spoon
I gave her water
I gave her milk
I gave her food.
I didn't let her eat off my plate.
I relented and let her eat off my plate and she realized we had the same food.
I ate some of the food.
I wiped her face.
I wiped her hands
I wiped the table after she had gotten down.
I petted the cat
I turned on a light
I only let her wipe herself twice after going potty.
I didn't need to go potty.
There were too many bubbles in her bath.
There were not enough bubbles in her bath.
I washed her hair
I washed her privates
I washed her back
I didn't wash the duck the right way
I let the water out of the tub
The water did't empty from the tub fast enough
I dried her off with the wrong towel.
I yawned.
I offered her jammies that she hates
I offered another pair of horribly offensive PJs
Another pair.
I didn't pull her PJ pants (first set) on her fast enough.
I read the story in the wrong voice
I sang the wrong song
I sang the wrong other song
I still couldn't figure out which song she wanted
I finally figured it out, but then I didn't sing it enough times.
I tripped over the gate on my way out and had to sing another song.
The blanket was on her feet.
The blanket wasn't on her legs.
I didn't give her enough kisses
I gave her too many kisses

***

I need a drink.


Well, "Bless" You Too Lady

It was a warm day... not a hot day (those are coming) but still, a warm day.

Ella and I were leaving the 99 Cent store.

"Excuse me," a voice from near the door called out  as I adjust my sunglasses, "excuse me?"

I turn and see her, a middle aged woman, sitting cross legged in the two inches of shade granted her by the tiny overhang.

Seeing she has my attention, "Excuse me, do you have any spare change?"

My response is part instinct, all truth, "No, sorry, I don't carry cash."

"Ok, thanks anyway."

At this point Ella notices the dog in the lady's lap, a wiener dog with its tongue hanging out. Ella begins to make the "uff uff" sound and point in glee.

"Umm, I don't have any change, but I have water, does your dog need water?" Leave it to my toddler to remind me to be a decent person.

"Oh yes! I am trying to save up money for water." Whether this is true or not, the dog looks miserable.

"Ok, hang on." I have a costco soda fountain drink cup half full of cold water. I pour another inch into Ella's cup and then roll closer to the woman and hand her the paper cup.

"Oh, thank you! Thank you!"

"No problem," I say backing the stroller up.

"God Bless you!"

"Oh," I have a second of thinking I should just shut up, but I have a big mouth. "Not about God, just trying to be decent. Stay cool!" I turn the stroller (and the still "uff uff" chanting toddler) away and prepare to head down the sidewalk.

"Wait..." I glance back at her, "You don't believe in God?"

"Nope," I smile,try to make myself look as friendly as possible, "Have a good day"

Again, I turn and start to walk away.

I get three steps.

"Well FU*K YOU!" The cup of water hits me in the back and goes flying off into the parking lot.

I look back, she is glaring, clutching the dog to her chest, her eyes tiny needles of hate, "Yeah, you heard me, FU*K You! Hope you have fun in HELL!!!"

My 19 month old is now saying "Ohh? in a questioning tone -on the verge of tears- and my back is wet.

I take a deep breath. Pick up the empty cup, throw it away, and then walk, slowly and deliberately, away. Half way through the parking lot Ella and I sing the ABCs as I try to calm down.

Poor dog.

Quandary ...


In the mail today, addressed to Ella, was a religious story book.

From a religious family member.

Who KNOWS we are not a religious family. Knows beyond a shadow of a doubt because she and I have had several conversations about it.

There was no note, no card, in the envelope... just the book.

I am conflicted. On the one hand I want to be polite and say thank you. I want to honor the sweetness that someone thought of my daughter and spent the time and effort to send her something.

On the other hand, I don't plan on letting her keep the book. She is "reading" it now, but it will probably disappear as soon as her attention wanders.

I am trying to find a way to say thank you… but also please don’t give my child religious books or toys etc in the future. I want to be polite and respectful… but also firm.

Am I being too sensitive? Should I just disappear the book and not say anything?